When Life Gives U Lemons....

Hey Everyone...
Its Christmas.. and the end of 08.. I have a lot of things to be thankful for.. My life aint too bad.. i still have a job.. Im making more money this year than I was at this time last year.. Ive gotten close to a lot of people that I wanted too.. IM STILL ALIVE.. Ive been able to spend all my hoidays with now 82 year old grandpa... man I love him.. he just said "Its almost the new year, and I aint got rich yet".. aint he speakin for all of us??
man.. niggas need money...
With all the good things going on.. theres always things that try to test my faith... Like for example.. you know a nigga like me is always on the computer.. if I aint working.. Im reseaching something on the computer.. and now.. my computer dont wanna do past the start up screen.. whenever I start it up.. It cuts right back off... Aint that a bitch?!?!?

So let me put you in perspective on how much my computer is important to me and my life..

My computer is LOADED with music... Last time I checked my iTunes.. it said I had 23 Days worth of music... and thats without all of my mixes.. Im well over 100 mixes now.. esp since lately, ive mixed two radio shows.. My bobby vaentino mix, my Mary J Blige Mix and a few other mixes in the past month... So Im praying that its not my hard drive.. Ive just been leavin it alone and lettin it rest lately.. hopefully itll get back jumpin.. bc I need alllll of that music..

But even if it doesnt work.. i wont trip.. ive been praying.. I been talkint o God.. this might be his way of telling me that I need to fiend for HIM as much as I fiend for this music.. Im sure he understands a lil bit, bc He is the one that made me how I am.. he knows how addicted to the music I am.. So im prayin for a good ending to this story...

I just pray that people dont trip on the little things esp in 09.. little things will keep u away from big things.. you can be soo hung up on some bullshit and mess up you chance for the better things...

So I pray that everyone has a lot of lemonade in 09

Sooooo... I had the whole "13 Question" thing a few weeks ago.. and the last set came late.. so i thought I would still at least post them...
and heres what she wrote...


sorry...we just never got up on AIM. but here are your 13..

1.what made you start mixing?
Man.. I been wantin to mix as long as i could remember.. i used to played two tapes at the same time to make songs mix.. but now since I have a real way to do it, I mix.. and I mix alll the time..

2.where's the one place in the world you want to visit most?
Brazil... def for the ladies, food and overall culture..

3. where was your favorite place to hang out at in high school?
Over my friend Crystals house.. her and my cousin used to smoke weed and be blowed as fuck.. and I would just laugh and joke with them all night... I never smoked with them tho..

4. why do you love Alicia Keys so much? ((besides her obvious good looks!))
I mean, its mostly bc of her looks.. but besides that.. she smart as hell.. i watch her interviews.. I love how she speaks.. and carries herself.. she is the shit to me.. and she dummy thick...

5. If you could get your neice && god daughter anything what would it be?
I would love to give them a paid for college education.. and a coupla pair of fresh ass jordans..

6. if you could have a super power it would be...?
Teleport.. traveling takes more time than I want it to.. if i could have a second one.. it would def be to be invisible

7. what impresses you the most?
self confidnce, and unique-ness.. the ability to open my eyes to something i wouldnt have noticed

8. if you went to school again for something what would it be?
Computer graphics or web design

9. what's your dream car?
I really dont know.. I guess whatever car makes my "pussy rate" go up.. haaa

10. if you ever have a son would you consider naming him Darrell no middle name the III?
never.. well cant say never.. but no..

11. when we go a bar what should I expect you to order?
Goose.. maybe a long island if i tryna get fucked up quick..

12. do you have a favorite year?
07.. def

13. what song are you thinking about? ((cuz I know you have one in your head))
Bobby Valentino - Cant Wait Til Later... Everytime i think of summer of 07.. i hear Bobby V's cd..

Thanks boo.. hope u were informed..

Musiq - OnMyRadio Review

I felt strongly about this cd.. so i felt I had to blog about this..
take this trip in my mind..
Im gonna talk about some people.. not directly.. but u might know if Im at your door..and also.. u might hear me knockin.. but i aint really talking about you... its just my thoughts, manifested...




1 Backagain -
This song seems to be about a relationship, that was over.. and been over.. and then outta no where.. the other party wants to come back and talk about things and work things out.. For us normal people.. aint that some shit when someone you are completely over.. comes back or at least tries too.. confusing right?? Youve got urself past the period of questioning urslef on the situation.. then.. BOOM.. more unceertainty.. more questions... should I jump back in the poool that almost drowned me once before?? Should I jump back in the pool that left me high and dry??

2 Until
I love this song.. the beats nice.. the "J'Adore" perfume commercial sample is hot.. i love the length of time he describes that his love will last.. we all have someone who we know that we will love forever.. no matter who else comes in our lives after.. I know I have a few of those.. he did is thing on this one...

3 IfULeave

I didnt really listen to this song when it first hit the radio.. but after further review.. its a good, well written song.. this nigga Musiq be saying what I be thinking forreal.. He is speakin on my side of relationships that Ive had that were cut short... some many times gurls have gotten so upset over tryna get through my hardheadness.. and please believe, im hardheaded and stubborn.. but i change with time.. on my time.. I feel you tho.. I know that we are on two different clocks.. and I cant help it.. so if you feel that you will do best without me.. I gotta let you do you.. but im doing me.. and that what the issues are.. no love lost.. I do understand.. you dont understand how many times Ive gone through it.. If i put u through it.. raise your hand...

4 deserveUmore

This is a selfish song.. and i fuckin feel it.. sometimes you just want to be on that... "who deserves you more than me??" that how I feel.. sometimes after all the time and feelings uve invested.. all the molding and everything that comes with that, u dont want someone to reap all of your hard work you sowed for years.. I deserve that.. and ima fight for that shit.. thats no one who deserves you more..

5 Special
Nice song.. nice lyrics.. not one of my personal favorites on the album.. but still a good song.. for some reason I feel like this song needed like Q-Tip or Rapheal Saadiq on it.. feel me tho?? I like the line.. "you and me look good together".. do u all think about this as much as I do?? I look at how I look with someone either in a pic or a mirror.. and i imagine how we are seen.. I think I would look good with a few people.. but it would have to be someone "special"

6 Dearjohn

Really nice song.. I love how it starts with the gurl talkin and getting ready.. that she notices the "Dear John" letter.. such and sad song.. sung so well.. this shit sounds great.. i would love to hear this live.. I saw him live this past summer while he was sick.. and he still sounded great.. back to the song.. he speaks on how he just knows its time to keep it moving and no time to look back... how would you feel if you happen to find this in the middle of you regular day.. your regular work week.. or on your way to the gym or to pick up the kids.. that will mess a niggas day up forreal.. he gets right to the point.. and says goodbye.. the songs ends with her on his voice mail.. great song.. great story ::message erased::

7 Loveofmylife

Sounds great when it open.. nice live band sound.. the song isnt your traditional "love of my life" song.. this is from the point of after things arent good.. this is after the "reflection" period.. after you get your heads out the cloud and get back grounded.. when u see that somethings are so important with out the one with you.. without the one to share it with... what do you do when u lost love and then u notice that what u lost is what u wanted?? do you humbly try to come back.. or do you take a different approach?? are you apologetic? do u ever feel as if you deserve a second chance?? how do u show someone that they are the love of your life?? how can they take you serious after what happened in the past??
Rhetorical right?? well these are my questions when listening.. the song is beautiful.. then it mixes right into one of my other favorites on the cd..

8 Moneyright

This is something that EVERY real nigga will relate too.. its in my nature to want to take care of the one who I want.. i wanna take them out.. i wanna stay in with them.. i wanna buy stuff for them.. i wanna go shoppin.. but i gotta get my money right first.. I got it in my heart.. just not in my pocket just yet.. feel me?? how much is worth that I want to do it.. but I just dont have the means for it?? I love it when the gurl understands that Ima do what I can... and respect me even when me money might run out.. one who knows that on an "off pay week".. we might just sit in the house and watch a few movies.. but that thursday after I get paid, we goin to the movies babe, and u can get that big bucket of popcorn and that red and blue icee that Ima drive half of.. I promise..

9 Someone

You know he had to hit us with the power ballad that we would expect from him, well this is it.. this the song that you zone out... or at least I do.. we is speakin my words.. he talks about how he wants someone who doesnt want him bc of who he is.. but for what he is.. someone who is self confident and has confindce in her lover.. a strong friendship.. someone who trust, believes, wants to be lead but can take control, and will build her man up.. gotdammit if that aint a real woman, then I dont kno what is.. I pray God is making this gurl for me.. cuz im being so picky til I see it.. we always have someone in our mind who we would love to be this someone.. someone who we would just wish would flip the switch in their brain to see how "meant to be" you and them are.. til then, should we keep it moving and stick it out? How do u know which one is your someone? I wish my "someone" could see me, my intentions, potential and love. Man, this song is so strong.. this some ol wedding reception, slow dance song.. dont catch me on the floor on this one.. i might sing to you.. can you picture me with someone?? yes, me. The forever single guy. How do you picture my "someone"??

10 Iwannabe

I thought this was weird to be following "someone" but its still hot.. this seem like a Carl Thomas song.. the feel of it.. the sound and everything.. like you on a island with some breezy ass cream linen pants on with a coconut drink or something.. the words are really nice tho.. very poetic to me..

11 sobeautiful

This is another one of those songs.. he aint just got one on the CD.. this is one of those like "someone".. this to me is like a valentines day song... you telling her how beautiful she is.. and how she is the best thing to happen to you in your life.. it sounds a lil different bc of the tone he is singing it.. but its a nice change up.. i feel that this should be played for your gurl everyday.. i feel that in a healthy relationship.. she should know that your still attracted to her everyday you see her.. she should know it without u even sayin.. she should see it in your eyes.. look at her like you want her..

12 Radio

We all know this.. this nothing like the rest of the cd.. not that that is bad.. but i like the finished product..

I looooooooooooooooooove this cd...
on constant repeat my niggas...

Pussy Rate

Growing up as a black male.. your peers always tell you ways to make your "pussy rate" go up... I will try to define "pussy rate" as much as I can

Pussy Rate - Noun - an imaginary chart that calculates how much vagina you can get that changes when u acquire certain qualities, items, history or any other factors that will make you more or less attractive to the female gender to make her want or not to want to give you the pussy..

Some tanglie factors that we as men believe that can make our pussy rate go up are:
Money
Clothes
Cars
Muscles
Tattoos
Houses
Cologne



Niggas do the things that niggas do.. just to get more pussy.. Sorry for using such a strong word to some but it gets the point across..
If we could get the chick that we wanted, while being broke, never needed no money, no cars or job.. we wouldnt do shit..

Ladies.. think of a man that u like..
Picture him in your head..
you see the last thing he wore when he saw you? or maybe what did he wear the 1st time yall went together somewhere? how did he smell? when yall went some where.. did u pay? How is his place? is it comfortable? how does the bed feel?? how is his hair when u see him?

All of these things.. we know yall pay attention too.. so we try to do all the right things to make the rate go up..

All our lives we are taught how to act, what to say, how to walk, and everything to make us be attractive to the one that we want.. when is it too much??

I mean damn... do i have to do allll this shit just for someone to like me? The thing that got me thinkin like this is when I was lookin thru some of the adds in the newspaper with one of my older niggas.. and we was lookin at the home theatre section.. he was like..

"Nigga.. you need your house laidout like this.. get you the 54" flatscreen.. get you some suede couches.. bose surround sound.. get your computer shit all upgraded.. some nice ass lamps.. and table with some nice shit on it.. and BAM! your rate is through the roof"

Im like damn.. i gotta do all of this.. just to get some?

People know that that aint even my goal.. I aint never just seeked out pussy.. as corny as it sounds.... I look for strong friendship that leads to that.. courtship.. stuff like that.. I like watching movies with a chick.. cooking and eating.. face to face conversations.. getting drunk.. laying with females who I like.. these are things that I want to happen BEFORE the act happens.. if the act happens before.. it kinda messes things up in my head.. but thats another blog...

I have always sort of been "anti pussy" rate on somethings.. I never wanted a really nice car bc i never wanted the reason why someone liked me was bc of my car.. I dont really like it when gurls just know me as DJDURL bc i dont like groupies.. I dont wear jewelry bc it bring the wrong attention.. The things that I do do tho are make sure my hair and shoes are clean when u see me.. maye i might smell good so that u remember it when u hug me.. I might even hug u a lil longer if i aint seen u in a minute.. cuz u like that..

but to me.. those are just factors of me.. I love shoes.. so i do it for me too.. and i gotta feel clean.. so I gotta keep me hair nice.. and if u knew me when I had braids.. you would never see me with my fro out.. I always had some fresh ass braids..

also.. if you knew me.. I aint never had a car that was just the SHIT.. me cutlass back in the day was jumpin.. but it got the wrong attention.. and it got broke into too much..so I always said fuck it..

Ive always had the inside pressure to lose weight bc gurls never want a fat dude.. their fantasy guys are TI, Chris Brown, Ludacris, Lloyd, Trey Songz blah blah blah.. I dont look like that.. and im cool with that.. we all cant look alike.. but Im sure, that mentally.. I can be attractive. I want someone to like me for anyways.. and thats the really thing I ever said..

I want you to remember how I make you feel when I leave you more than remember how I look when Im with you..

I want to be the one who makes you happy and smile.. the one who makes you laugh.. the one who listens and doesnt talk about himself so much.. the one who doesnt constantly look in the mirror at hisself.. not the one who is in the mirror more than you.. I want you to be the pretty one.. just let me be the fresh one... cool??

Is it arrogance to not want to be like every other nigga?? Do I act too good bc I dont feel like i gotta do certain things and I WONT do certain things just to get someone to like me or let me fuck? I dont wanna go thru hoops and change everything about DARRELL, just to get you.. I wanna be ME with YOU.. will you let me be that or do I gotta be him??

What u Think???



PS.. I would love to remake these pix... they sexy right???

Every Word in This Blog is Gonna Be About U!!!

I wrote this in 2006 on my myspace blog.. and it still makes sense.. so i copied and pasted for those who havent read it..

"YOU"

So... 2006 has been a hell of a year so far... and it aint over...all of the memories of this year would be a great movie... think of where you were last year this time... think of the love that has turned to hate.. and the strangers that have turned into friends.. and old friends that have turned in to better friends... all of these things have happened for a reason...

Love yourself.. b/c you cant love no one unless you do... deal with your problems and ask for help sometimes... love those who love you back.. and when they show their love.. dont turn your back.. dont change...

You are a beautiful person.. inside and out.. and some see it.. but many overlook it... but keep growing... keep goin... one day that one person will open their eyes... Look in the mirror and love what ur lookin at... someone else out there does... so why dont you??

Think of who you were around this time last year.. and see what u have learned in the past 365... things aint always what they seem... but dont let that hold you back... dont let what one person has done to you keep you from someone who will right all the wrongs...

Love yourself and fulfill your goals.. finish what u have started.. use your talents and do what u love... finish school... get a job you actually like.. get money.. hang around postitive people who are movin forward and love those who have shown love back...

You are not alone... look at all the people who tihnk highly of you... give them a chance... open up... say what you feel... and mean what u say... sometimes conflict will come but you live and you learn... you gettin older now... so you are learning a lot... your on your own.. no one to fall back on.. and your makin it.. and you still got your family... and your loved ones... so be happy.. and learn something everyday... and if they dont notice how special you are... FUCK EM.. haha...

Love, Yourself

((ASK)) About ME

I gave 3 people the chance to ask me 13 random question of their choice.. and I have to answer 100% honestly.. so here they are.. I hope u find the answer and questions interesting...

but at this time.. only 2 people sent questions back.. so im posting them



This is 13 Questions Chavi had for me.. hope u learn something..
of course im the one with the name DytnsNum1Stunna



ChAvIBaLlA (6:52:13 PM): 1. If u were feeling someone,would you go out of your way to let them know.
ChAvIBaLlA returned at 6:52:22 PM.
ChAvIBaLlA (6:52:30 PM): 2. Do u fear rejection?
ChAvIBaLlA (6:53:20 PM): 3.have u ever rejected a female because she didn't meet All of your requirements?
ChAvIBaLlA (6:53:48 PM): 4. How many times have you had your heaart broken?
ChAvIBaLlA (6:54:15 PM): 5. Do you hate anyone?
Dytnsnum1stunna (6:54:37 PM): let me answer them
ChAvIBaLlA (6:55:08 PM): Ok....we will do 5 at a time
Dytnsnum1stunna (6:56:59 PM): I dont usually go out my way too much.. i just make a way for us to interact to make sure if i wanna pursue it
Dytnsnum1stunna (6:58:23 PM): I do fear rejection..
ChAvIBaLlA (6:58:39 PM): Interesting..
Dytnsnum1stunna (6:58:55 PM): I dont have requirements..
Dytnsnum1stunna (6:59:39 PM): Maybe once.. Im not even sure if I would label it as that.. but ive gotten my feelings hurt a few times..
ChAvIBaLlA (6:59:49 PM): U have a list though.....which turnes into qualities u like which afterwhile becomes requirments
Dytnsnum1stunna (6:59:52 PM): No hate in me...
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:00:31 PM): next 5
ChAvIBaLlA (7:00:40 PM): 6. If u could switch places with anyone in the world who wpould it be and why?
ChAvIBaLlA (7:01:53 PM): What is the one question u would ask God when u get to heaven?
ChAvIBaLlA (7:02:14 PM): 8.what was your childhod nickname?
ChAvIBaLlA (7:02:57 PM): 9.what is the weirdest/wildest thing u've ever done while driving?
ChAvIBaLlA (7:03:44 PM): 10. Name something u do when you're alone that u wouldn't do in front of others?
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:06:06 PM): Prolly Diddy if it had to be a celeb.. if it was a normal person.. it would be whoever I was trying to talk to.. so i could make them like me
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:06:40 PM): I would ask God wheres my Grandma so I could go hug her..
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:07:00 PM): My auntie called me Tankie as a baby..
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:07:15 PM): .. fall asleep
ChAvIBaLlA (7:07:18 PM): Cute
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:07:52 PM): sing
ChAvIBaLlA (7:08:04 PM): 11.have u ever called ur love intrest by an ex's name?
ChAvIBaLlA (7:09:16 PM): 12.if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would it be?
ChAvIBaLlA (7:09:37 PM): 13. What type of music do u hate?
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:10:06 PM): nope..
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:10:43 PM): i would change my social status... I would be in a higher tax bracket..
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:12:05 PM): i dont really like local music or music that promotes satan
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:12:20 PM): ... thanks for the interview..
ChAvIBaLlA (7:12:21 PM): I see...
ChAvIBaLlA (7:12:38 PM): Sure...thanks for being open
ChAvIBaLlA (7:13:01 PM): U didn't think my questions were lame did u?
Dytnsnum1stunna (7:13:41 PM): u are all out of questions buddy





Now Sam-I-Am.. had her chance to ask me 13 of them.. and here are hers..

What's an automatic disqualifier for a woman you deal w/?

a woman who is too stuck on her past to see how well and better her future is gonna be.. it happens wayyy too often to me..

1. If your life was a movie what would be the theme song of your soundtrack?
Not just because its a new, hot song... but JayZ - History.. the whole thing about being remembered, tryna be successful and leaving a legacy is all i think about during my life..

2. What's your favorite quote and why?
"if you like it, then u shouldda put a ring on it".. haaa
just playin..
umm.. let me think..
I would have to say currently it is.. "if you wont, someone else will"
i made a whole blog that explains my thoughts on that

3. What would people be shocked to know about you?
I dont believe in myself as much as i should.. I make safe decisions, im terrified of failure and bad news..

4. What's your most prized possession?
i would have to say my computer.. i would be so depressed if this thing messed up or even ran outta memory

5. What's one thing on your Xmas list?
PS3.. hopefully ill getone before xmas bc i know no ones gonna buy me one..
and some turntables.. i need to get all the way back at it..

6. How many kids do you want?
the question should be, do I want kids..
i would like to have child, esp under Baracks leadership.. he brought hope back to me..
but i will be ok if i dont have any.. and most likely ill be with someone with a child.. thatll be enuff for me..

7. If you were President for a day, what would be your major platform?
im so not political.. but it would either be try to make more jobs, or ways to get more people in college and to stay in college.. not just for their refund checks..

8. What's the best song(in your opinion) to listen to when your heartbroken?
I usually listen to the songs i can relate to.. but when im gettin over it.. its usually anything that dont have anything to do with love..

9. What song do you listen to when your ready to go kick it?
Big Tuck - Aint a Stain on Me

10. When you die, what do you hope people remember about you?
how i made them smile, and laugh and how I personally signed every cd they got from me..

11. What's the most important lesson you've learned as a grown ass man?
Dont trust no nigga..
If you loan someone some money.. u will never get it back.. and ull probably never see them again..

12. Are you willing to give us another chance?
that is a question you will have to ask God..

Throwback Moment - Alexander O'Neal

If you know me, you know how I feel about this
So heres the visual for it..
quite disturbing..
So ima break this down, minute by minute..

Minute 0 - 1:
The city looks nice.. he has a nice lil signature logo jumpin off..
then as the night moves in, the video takes on new meaning... this dude is standing on a balcony I guess.. standing.. one hand in pocket.. singing to the contact.. making some weird eye contact.. I was thinkin that maybe i was over thinking it until the :40 mark came, where he is sitting in the "living room" reading a note while singing.. his body movement is getting worse.. and it makes me squent my eyes in question.. by the time :55 - 1:00 is up.. im frowning.. mind u, this is my favorite song.

Minute 1 - 2:
So at this point.. he starts gettin upset.. if theres one thing that i cant take serious, it would be a soft ass nigga getting mad.. so ten seconds in.. he throws the card that his lover left for him... so I bust out laughing.. So after this.. he starts posing and sing and shaking his head all different ways as if his name was "Twan" or something... what kills me is how every 10 sec the camera gets closer so you can see his expressions better.. then you notice that he is mad bc the letter says sorry.. on the last 10 sec of this minute.. i have to laugh and say "no homo" out loud to him laying in the bed... haaaa

Minute 2 - 3:
during this minute.. you dont see much.. just him promoting smoking.. and getting upset a lil and slippin his leg... then at the end of the minute you get the sideview of is powerful slickback.. he couldda at least acted like he was singing tho..

Minute 3 - 4:19:
During this minute.. he is tossing and turning bc apparently, the bed is too big for him to be sleeping alone.. then wakes up at of a nightmare into to singing directly in to the camera.. this nigga got the makeup caked on.. im thinkin the director said, "act scared, as if you were in a haunted house, make sure u poke out your lip and pout like a lil boy.. or girl"

Man... this video sucks ass.. ill stick to just listening to it on the cds.. not off the video..

maybe next ill do Jason Weaver - Love Ambition, since thats my other favorite..

What u Think??

My Playlist - Artist Spotlight ---- Trey Songz

As I was leaving a hip hop spot, I was driving home..
The radio was on.. so instantly looked for a Cd
the nearest one was label "All Trey"
MY SHIT!!
So Ima take you through the mental journey I went through while each song came on..
Ride with me..

1 Your Behind
This song is somewhat of an ode to the booty.. he my nigga for that.. Lord knows how much I can appreciate a great behind... I gets stuck off seeing one...
Shawty. I want you so so bad... you running through my mind.. all I see is yo behind
Theres has been time where I get so deep into thoughts of females booties that I happen to dream about it.. So I can relate so much to this... I know that for me to be happy with my wife.. she hasssssss to have a nice ass.. or she gonna get mad when I look at one pass me..

2 All The Ifs In World
I love this song.. I love the meaning and how it was sang. I cant relate to this with a few people and in a few different ways. I really am short when it comes to feelings but I do have them. I do miss people at times, and I do sometimes wish things were different between some people, Marica and Brenda to be specific.. I still love them as I did when we were cool... But my stubborness will not let me apologize for something that I feel I havent done.. of course I dont feel as if I did anything toooo wrong.. Im sure I couldda been a better friend to each of them.. but at this point it is what it is.. I just dont seeing it coming back.. but never know right?

3 In Ya Phone
I like this song a lot.. it just reminds me of a club.. seeing a chick and getting at her.. and telling her to put my number in ya phone.. no real emotions attached to this song..

4 Missin You
Like earlier stated.. I do miss people..
I miss the way you kiss........... i miss you staying here in the morning..
these were two lines that stood out to me.. ME being transplated to a whole new city, I do miss people.. and I miss the relationships I had.. I miss being only 10 mins away from anyone.. I hate that I gotta schedule a vist with any.. I miss bumpin into my people in traffic.. I miss you.. all of you..

5Hatin Love
Man, when I heard this song first, I dummy felt it.. but I really felt it after everything in the winter of 06-07.. failing in 2 relationships that I felt as if I did nothing wrong.. both chicks I was faithful to, both gurls I loved.. both I couldda seen something long term with, and both were gone in a flash..
Love aint posed to feel this way.. love aint posed to hurt or cause me pain
Man, love did hurt me in 0ct 06 and jan 07.. and I hate it.. I hated love so much.. this song made a nigga emotional.. yall dont know how depressed a nigga was.. and how much I could relate.. Even when I hear it to this day.. I go back to how I was feeling back then.. no smiles.. I mean I was in DEEP depression... did you know that? I was so ready to be done with everything.. I cried alone.. I smoked weed thinkin that I might make my days go by and numb me.. It made things worse.. Crazy right?

6 Girl Tonight (Remix)
This is the remix with just him singing.. no twista rapping..
This is my shit.. sometimes you just gotta get right to it and let the gurl know that tonight is the night..

7 Murder She Wrote
This is about him giving his heart to someone.. and then his heart getting thrown away..
I been there.. I gave my time and feelings just for a chick to act like the feelings were the same.. and then ended up with another nigga.. and i was like, Damn.. .where he come from?? Felt like I got shot in the heart.. and it was murder she wrote..

8 Last Time
Love this song.. im my dream i could sing like him on this one.. so ima tell you how I can relate to this one.. not because I was cheating on a gurl but bc I was the one that the gurl was cheating with. Never in my past relationships that I actually cheated in did I make it a long term cheating.. it was usually an "oops" thing..
Ok, back to the subject, I always felt I was too good to be someones other man.. and I kno that its bad karma to mess with another mans gurl.. but I beeeeeen wanting this gurl.. and over time.. it seem like the one who I had been hunting, started to hunt me.. so I said fuck it.. that bad right? we all make mistakes.. but dammit.. I wanted her for too long.. She actually told me that this is the song that reminds her of me..

9 Good Lovin
I like this song.. i cant really relate too much, Ive never been in love. I can understand how this would be a nice concept to be in but Im just not there yet.. im still waitin..

10Fly Together
Im so fly, you so fly, whats flyer than you and I together??
i think he got that off... you gotta feel me.. Im a fly nigga.. at least I feel as if I am.. and Ima need a fly chick that can stand next to me and hold her on.. Her swagg gotta be turn on.. and prolly turn on "stupid".. cuz Ima need a chick with STUPID SWAG... and a nice booty of course.. as previously stated.. :)
Me and Shani def connected on this during our time.. cuz she is pretty fly.. not as much as I.. but she does try.. why lie? :wink:

11 I Dont Love You Anymore
Pretty strong word right... but its how I feel sometimes tho.. I never want anyone to feel as if they as stopping my life by not being a part of it.. you can miss me with that.. one monkey dont stop no show.. I cant stop wont stop.. so I feel as if I have to play this role something..

12 Bidness & Pleasure ft Bayje
I just found out who the chick is on the song.. but dammit this song is sexy..
This is another great great great slow jam wrote by STATIC.. ((RIP)) this song will make you ask.. "whos song is this?" but ive already blogged before on how I can relate to this.. just read one of my earlier blogs for this story.. heres the song tho..


13 Ride with Ace Hood
I love this song.. love the chorus and all of that.. I would love to have a ride or die by my side...

so that was my lil mental trip that these songs take me...

what u think?

You there..

Yes you...

I want you to interview me...
I want to give you the oppertunity to ask me 13 questions so I can post them on my blog..

I want to get this chance to the 1st three people to comment on this blog...
so what u do is..
comment this.. state u full name.. and then how u want to do the interview..
either via text message or instant messanger.. i have AOL and Yahoo..
DYTNSNUM1Stunna is the name on both..
so.. go ahead.. and i want you to think of the 13 questions ASAP so we can get this on here...

Thanx for your participation..

Darrell

Some More DJ DURL EXCLUSIVES... finally..

heres some of the songs on it..

Big Kuntry ft Lloyd - Love U The Right Way
Neyo ft Jamie Foxxx and Fabolous - She Got Her Own
R Kelly - Freaky Sensation
Jamie Foxx - VIP
Usher - Trading Places
Lloyd - Heart Attack
Sisqo - So Sexual
Day 26 - Come With Me
TI - Porn Star
702 - Places
Sam Salter - After 12 Before 6
Danity Kane - Sucka For Love
Lloyd - Year OF The Lover
Cherish - Bump Like Some Speaker
Raheem DeVaughn - Text Message
Jodeci - Im Still Waiting..



This is some of TI songs from the all of the years in his career


This is one of my FAMOUS Bedtime cd.. this is part 3...



With songs like Myron - Destiny
Jodeci - Feenin
Playa - Cheers To You
Usher - Do It To Me
R Kelly - Sex Me
Jodeci - U & I
Janet Jackson - AnyTime AnyPlace
Usher - Can U Handle It
112 - All Of My Love
Jason Weaver - Love Ambition
Alexander ONeal - If You Were Here Tonight..

Cant go wrong with them songs..

This is one of my new mixes.. i posted the playlist on my facebook and myspace..
this shows how i get it jumpin in Deveroes...



Listen, enjoy
and experience

can i get some feedback????

The Good Days Pt 4

This is a mix i did a few months a go that I never finished..
Im messing witn Imeem.com and seein if i can upload my mixes so u all can hear them..
Im tryna do podcast and video blogs in the future.. so im takin steps.. so hopefully this works..

this is about 40+ mins.. enjoy.. more to come.. asap

Is Random, Random?

So I wake up..
Brush my teeth..
Check my emails and check updates
then i check my phone...
text message..
I read..
it states...
"I Love You"
I smile
This makes me reflect.
This simple 3 word sentence says more than any paragragh could
This what I want..
Love.. to be loved, to have love, to share love
Thank you..
so I text back and ask...
"what made u say that?"
the answer i got.. paraphrased
"just wanted to tell u, I was on my way to work and it crossed my mind how much I love u and how good you are to me babe"
Babe? so Im babe now?
remember.. this is the "forever single man" ur txtin
was this random? or strategic?
I think the latter..


Is this a way to get me to think of her.. or even us when I normally wouldnt? maybe
These gestures will make or mess up a persons whole day. When u get messages like these from someone that u actually want them from.. you get geeked.. I call it "remote control".. they are controlling or altering your thoughts without even being around.. rather it be positive or negative.. we allow people to have remote control over our thoughts sometimes..
You could get a txt from your babydaddy while your out having the best time with your new man, and he can just fuck up the whole night.. bc you have giving him remote control over you... What is the new man to do at this point?

Who has remote control over you?
Who has that Universal Mind Control?

You Can't Like Me...

You ever had someone that youre feelin.. and for whatever reason, they not feeling the same.. so automatically you start to wonder.. damn WTF is wrong with me? Well i dont dwell too much on things like that.. i just sit back and see what type of dudes do they like.. usually when i sit back and pay attention i see exactly why they dont.. and then im cool..


SO if you like dudes who:
*are lightskin
*wear Girbauds
*participate in gangs
*are dopeboys
*had gold teeth
*has braids
*wears Reebox
*airbrushes his clothes
*are skinny
*talk a lot
*wears dickies outside of work
*wears/owns/likes/wants burgers
*votes for McCain
*wears tight clothes
*wears overly big clothes
*wears tall tees
*smokes weed
*throws up gang signs in pictures
*doesnt work
*is a rapper
*gets drunk or high daily or weekly


----THEN U CANT LIKE ME

::WINK::

Life Lessons

"If you won't, somebody will"

Lately, this is been resounding in my head during my daily treks through life. Rather it be when im at work, as the boss with my employees, or if it's dealing with these females. As a boss, I have to remind my workers that they arent the last people out here wanting a job. This is a recession, people need and want jobs, and esp these young, fashionable, shoe fiend teens. People come to me daily asking for my employees position at Deveroes. At the moment, all my positions are filled, I have all the role players that I have space for. My bench is full and my starting players are on the court tryna hustle and get it. Most of my workers are hand picked by me.. I notice people at all times.. I try to be a good judge of character and I am always trying to have the best people around me... So when I see someone that might make my team stronger rather it be due to their personality or even their looks, I try to get them down with us. I want to come into my store and see all the workers and know that all my people seem like they should work here.
When acquiring a new prospect, you go thru the interview process. You never are really meeting the real person during this process, you are meeting their "agent". This is there rep that they are playing, not the real person on the inside. They would never talk back, slack around, be late, call off, steal or use their phone while in an interview bc they know I or anyone else would hire them if any of this went on.
So when you think you have a good pick, they start to get comfortable. They slack, they are late all the time, they ask for more hours but wanna leave early when they are at work, its always something. What is a MANager to do? I keep interviewing at all times. I always try to keep someone on deck so they know that this job isn't a right, its a priveledge. There is no contract, we have a open door policy, you can leave whenever, and I can have you gone when I feel like you are no longer useful. So don't ever get too comfortable.
You can we the parallel of being a boss of store and being the boss of your own life. You don't want to do everything by yourself. You want to have good partnerships right? So the hiring process is like dating. Before I even think about dating someone, I've prolly watched how they have acted or just seen what they were about from a distance. I never just see someone and go in for the kill. May be weird or old fashion but that's just Darrell. So after checking out the prospect and doing a few background checks, if things seem right, I go forward. So during the dating process, you get to meet the person's agent. This is the person that you will later be on the phone yelling with, the one who after calling every night at the same time has failed to call this whole weekend, not the one who you thought was the shit. You never get you food how it looks on the box. Your food never looks how it does on the commericial. This also applies to relationship. They never are who they say they are. He will never be there every night like he said he would. He will leave you hanging some nights with the babay that looks just like him and that u gave his last name. She will try to holla at one of your bestfriend and will never tell you. She will get a little too drunk and have sex with someone you know. These are all things that you would never know while trying to acquire a new team mate.

I digressed a lil bit, but i said all of that to say this... when all of the things are said and done, you cant feel as if that person is your last choice. Shit, someone else will do anything that you want them to do, if you open up and allow them. Just because I blocked everyone out while talking to you, that dont mean that I cant get them back. Thats what we all need to learn and know, from both sides of the fence. You have to know within yourself what u want, and what you will take, and what things you can kinda do without. Like me, for example, if I were looking for a female, some things that I would want would be, at least 22, not too skinny, a non smoker,has a car, good hair, good sense of fashion and a nice butt. Those are my little things that I look for. Knowing that people are all different, I got to know which ones can I live without and which ones cant I compromise. Say that I have a chick, she has good hair, good fashion, has a car but is under 21, and lives at home. I have to think, do I feel too old to be meeting someones parents when I want to come over? What about when we might wanna go out, she cant go when I can go, and I dont wanna go where she can... What makes you stay? I would have to say, it would be how they treat you. Do they act like they wanna be down or are they just cool either way? That would be the decision maker for me. Im at the age where I dont feel like playing the guessing game. If you like me, act like it. You wanna kiss me, lick your lips and look at mine or something.. sheit, that what i do when im thinkin about it... Tell me that I mean something to you. Know that if youre not, 95% of the time, someone is. I have learned that my shyness and lack of communication has left me in the dark with a few people. I couldve been with a few people if I just opened my mouth. Just this year alone, I have gotten DUMMY close to at least 4 gurls who I have been to scared to let them know how I felt about them. Each one, ended up being bad timing tho, but each of them have expressed the same feelings that I did with them.
How does that make me feel? its like a double edged sword. One on hand Im like "YESSSSS, i finally got her", then on the other hand I'm like, "FUCCCKKK, I couldda been had her". With each situation, Ive learned not to put people on so high of a pedestal, niggas bleed just like me, none of these chicks were so much better than me. So why not take advantage of the present? If you aint telling me how fresh I am when u see me, or you not smiling when I want in the room, or you not making random eye contact when Im close, or your not telling me how good I smell after I hug you, please believe, someone else is/will. Own your emotions and let them out sometimes or youll miss out..

Im speaking on this to you and to myself. I've experienced this from both sides of the fence. Ive been the one who has gotten too comfortable and let someone slip in.. Ive been the one who slipped in while another nigga got too comfortable, and ive been the nigga that a chick got too comfortable with and let someone take her place. Im just saying that postions are always availible in my life... Ive NEVER called anyone WIFEY... thats a position yet to be filled, and dont think I aint looking for one either... Ima chillin ass nigga.. but I always have my eyes open.. Im watching everyone go thru their thing. I like to see how some gurls are cool with being single and they are making it with or without a man... and i see some gurls who cant stand to be single.. who always have a new name comin out they mouth.. always going thru the ups and downs bc the men they choose dont get to the know the real them bc THEY dont even know the real them. I feel as if I need some ME time to know what I like, and want before I can expect someone else to be able to fill in..

so what side of the fence are you on with the person that u like??
are you too comfortable? Dont think you are the only person that likes them. I tell gurls this all the time that, the same thing you see in me at least 5 others gurls see it too.. So why not show me that u want me more than they do?? What are you doing better than your competition?? You gotta believe that if i feel as if youre worth competing for that Ima beat my competition everytime. Thats how Im supposed to feel..

My Playlist... as of 10/09/08

Ive been asked countless times, "Whats your favorite song?"
Do u really expect me to answer that... with just one song?
Nigga please.
But for the curious, music lovers, who wondering what be in my head.. heres a lil insight..
I love reading peoples playlist..
It tells a lot about the person..
at least mine does...
Mostly all the songs i can relate to personal feelings i have, a person, a timeframe, or I just LOVEEE how it is put together...
but most songs (ESP rnb) are my feelings being expressed. I sing all these songs when Im by myself... and im prolly singing to someone when I sing it..
I love a song where I can see how a video would look.. or when I hear it, I directly connect it with sometime in my life.. or someone in my life, past or present...

so heres one of my playlist on my phn... its simply titled "RnB"
Ima need yall to comment on these too.. tell me which ones u feel.. which ones you downloaded after u read or whatever.. i need feedback.. either on the blog, thru txt message or in person..

Mario - Inside of You
Maxwell - Softly
Micheal Jackson - Liberian Girl
Angela Winbush - Imaginary Playmates
New Edition - Sorry, You're Not My Kind Of Girl
Tank - Personal Assistant
Tony Toni Tone - All I Ask Of You
Brandy - should I go
Brandy - Full Moon
Brandy ft TI - Where I Wanna Be
Brian McKnight - Is this The way Love Goes
Bobby V- Only Human
Bobby Brown - Girlfriend
Bobby Brown - Rock Witcha
Blackstreet - JOY
Donnel Jones - Special Girl
HotStylz ft T-Pain - Assume The Position
Ginuwine - None of Your Friends Business
Erykah Badu - Didnt Cha Know
Eric Benet - I wanna Be Love
Eric Benet - Feminity
Jazz (of Dru Hill) - Right Here With Me
Bobby V - My angel
Anita Baker - Sweet Love
Anita Baker - No One in The World
Anita Baker - Angel
Tyrese - Lately
Tyrese - One
Trey Songz - Last Time
Tevin Campbell - Always in My Heart
Tevin Campbell - Tell Me What You Want Me To Do
Chaka Khan - Angel
Immature - Constantly
Janet Jackson - Come Back To Me
Jodeci - Im Still Waiting
Bobby V - Cant Wait Til Later
Jodeci - U & I
TLC - Hands Up
Tony Toni Tone - Slow Wine
JS ft R Kelly - Love Angel
JS - Someone
JS - Slow Grind
JS - Stay Right Here
JS - Right Here With Me
JS - Stay
JS - Baby Come On
JS - Bye,Bye

My other playlist on my phone are...
BadBoy RnB
90s Songs
All Lloyd...

WHAT U THINK??

Keep It Movin...

Blogging really helps me speak, when I usually wouldnt.. I dont really talk much.. everyone knows that... the only time i really speak is at work... when I have the Deveroes uniform I have to speak, I have to be "on". Most of the time, my thoughts stay inside... so hopefully, blogging will be my outlet for you to get inside my head a lil bit..
For the few of you that actually follow my two blogs.. this blog is more personal.. more me.. even though its title "DJ DURL", its mostly Darrell talking.. This DJDURL person only comes out on cds and mixtapes.. theres no DJDURL persona.
So this is called "keep it movin" bc I've been notified by my employer, for the 2nd year in a row, that they want me to relocate to another city. This time its Indianapolis. Yeah, outside of Ohio... Brand new to me.. New land, new area code, new fashion, new sports teams, new capitol and new capital.. however way you wanna see it.
Personally, I don't want to do it. Nope, not at all.. I'm cool. I made it outta Dayton, which was my goal. I did that. My parents didnt even do that. I make more than my dad... thats not good.. but its the truth.. Im in control over a mutlimillion dollar store and Im running it like a pro in my rookie season.. I should be the Rookie Of the Year.. esp now that my nigga Aaron quit... cuz he def had that on lock.. but I feel like im the man now.. I feel as if Im the "go-to-guy", but some might think that Im the "Get-shitted-on-guy" bc Im the one they call on when stores arent doing too good.. Im the one who has to recover it.. Well, shit.. I gets it done though.
Deveroes up here was losing heavily when I got here.. I brought energy, youth, life and sense of humor to the store and the city. I brought shoe and clothing knowledge to my workers.. I brought a whole new vocab to the city.. niggas in Columbus know what BURGERs are b/c of me.. I did that.. I like this city.. I would LOVE this city if I loved the people.. I dont love them yet.. I love a few.. but collectively.. no.. The city is nice, its always moving.. and theres things to do and places to go.. something Im not used to from my city. I have made a few bonds and a few friends that Im going to miss up here.. ((Ima miss you Roniquia :(... )) but thinking forward in life.. I might need to make this move.

As a youngin.. I always wanted to get a job where I traveled.. welll.. here it is.. in a sense.. I always wanted to get outta Dayton... did that.. I got my music playin in 15 stores.. 5 cities and 3 states.. thats a lot.. but I could be doing more.. I could be touching more people.. i could be affecting more peoples lives.. I have tried to find reasons why im getting chose.. I think its because Im single and childless.. but I could reverse this and say that this could be the reason why God has kept me single and childless for so long.. So I can keep it moving with no strings attached.. not saying that I dont have any strings bc I do.. I love my bestfriends.. my God daughter.. my Deveroes people who I will be further from.. and just my piece of mind and havin stability...

Like I said before.. I dont talk much.. so youre saying that once again, I have to show a whole new city who I am, where I came from and what I stand for... so once again.. I got to make new friends.. and I promise it take you to be with someone for 4 whole seasons to see if they are really your friend.. you need to know how people act when the weather change.. so I gotta go another whole year without having any friends close to me... I dont trust people.. so Im dreading how my winter is going to be... I have made a few good connections here that I wanted to build on and see how things ended.. but also.. on the other hand.. Im still single.. I havent found no ones worth quitting my job over and signing a 2 yrs lease for or anything close to that... so why not?
truthfully.. Im scared.. Im nervous.. and i just want to know that everything will be alright..
Gods Got Me though..

My Rant on Females and Relationships..

People ask me... "why dont u have a girlfriend?", "how is it that your 26, with no kids?"
You would start to wonder, what's wrong with him? Is he crazy behind doors? Is he abusive, does he cheat? What the hell is the problem?

While watching "Tyra" ((No homo)) her subject is "What Men Really Want".. mind u, this is a female show... Men can only tell you how men feel. I hear on the show about how women get some pissed off at their men because they don't notice the simple things, or don't notice the details. Which I won't argue with. Example. Theres this chick that I used to be real cool with last year.. we used to work together.. but I moved.. and she lived with her babydaddy anyways.. but I always called her my babymomma.. Her gripe in her relationship was that he never paid as much attention to her as I did.. I would rub her belly when she was around me.. speak to her son thru the belly... I noticed her hair cut.. and the fact that she got it colored.. she said it had been like that for a week.. and her BD hasnt even noticed or said nothing about it... This struck me unusual. But a way that I kinda figured that out is when I'm at work, and we get visits from our bosses.. they notice the details of what is wrong in my store that I walk past everyday... im in this store everyday and I never noticed how many lights I have that arent working... What sense does that make? Not to many.. but it does make sense to me.
I hear about how women have the problem of when they talk on the phn with the one they like.. the conversation changes through out the months.. When speaking daily, how can u have sooo much to say everyday...
Here is my problem.. I dont talk that much.. I have communication problems.. I really dont want to talk all the time.. I would rather have face to face interaction than over the phone. I also need my time. I want to be able to miss someone.. its already hard for me to miss people.. but if you give me a chance to, then that will keep things going..
I know I have mostly female readers.. so I think that this will also help with insight in the mind of many males.. or even if one of my readers are trying to get closer to me.. this will also help ::wink::

My main answer for when someone ask me why dont I have a girlfriend is "All the gurls I know have a problem".
Let me be specific on some of my problems without being too specific. I wont say names.. but youll know if Im speaking on you..
-one gurl has too much going on outside of us that keeps her mind away from the focus of whats ahead.. too many things in the past blind her from seeing how the future could be, rather it be our past friendship, money issues, or whatever.. My heart is one that wants to help. I want to make an impact on everyones life that I love.. if i feel that I cant help, I feel like Im not good enough. Sometimes you gotta let people go through their "thing" to be able to see the light.. Should I wait? Why? I'm a good ass dude..

-one gurl is too young to me. I feel that for someone to relate to me, that have to have some type of experience to under stand me and my possible struggles.. I dont feel as if someone who still lives at home can fully understand me and why I work so hard to do what I gotta do.. Sounds wrong a lil bit.. but Im so far past meeting someones parents just to go to the movies with them... feel me? I know when I was younger... I had a few experiences I had to get under my belt.. before I even knew what "ready" looked like..

-one gurl is still stuck on the 1st babydaddy.. how can u allow yourself to move forward with someone new if their past is right with them in every conversation? I dont want to think about dude.. and I wish they wouldnt either.. feel me? that can drive someone away..

-Another one, I already messed with. I always felt like we were never done.. I also felt like I was misunderstood and I never feel like i have to explain myself but I know now that out of respect, you need to let the other person know your thoughts and motives.. let think know how u work on the inside.. i never allowed them to know that.. and with that happening.. they bounced.. and had another family.. like that ::snaps::
Now how can I go back with someone who had something with someone else that they couldda had with me if they were just a bit more patient? Just a question..

-And then like always.. the ones that I do be feeling, show no interest.. no feelings or nothing in that way.. people that I see go through bullshit situations with bullshit niggas.. and I sit back and be like "if u were with me.. you would go thru this...". But everyone go through this.. You feel as if you could just get close to that person.. that 1 person.. that everything will be right..

Please believe me.. that aint always true.. I've gotten close to a few of the ones that I used to watch from the sidelines.. and Ill be gotdammit if they aint nothing like I thought they would be... You see them in such this beautiful light.. and when you feel as if the planets just so happened to be in all the right spots.. and the sun shine on you at the right time..and they actually like you back.. you think that this bout to be it.. this might be the one.. WRONG.. well atleast for me..

Im starting to feel as if I'm too picky.. maybe Im too work minded.. maybe I focus on music too much.. maybe Im too stubborn.. Oh well.. ILL BE DAT

At this point in my blog.. I dont even think Im still on subject.. but oh well.. this is my shit anyways.. Im just speak on what I think..

This is how I picture a chick for me..
-Fashionable.. one that will make me be like.. "where u get that from and who u bout to go see in it?" one where I aint gotta worry about what she bout to wear when I pick her up for us to go somewhere.. One that gets me hip to the new shit.. one that knows what "I" look good in..

-Organized.. Im not so organized my damn self.. so I would want someone who is the "plus" where i am a "minus"... help me get to the point of where I need to be..

-Polished.. I need to know that when I aint around.. she will still be a good representative of me.. not too loud.. but not a push over.. one that aint gotta be at all the parties, drinkin all the goose, and showing all of her tittes and ass.. feel me?

-Musiclover.. For obvious reasons.. but you aint got to be in love with it, just enough that when I make a reference to someone in music, you wont be too lost.. someone who I can sing with when listening to old 90s music..

-Christian... of course.. need I say more about this? No..

-Confident.. I want you to know that if Im with you and for you.. you are the only one I see.. we all know there's a lot of chicks in my life.. but you can ask anyone who I dont talk to on that level that I keep it all plutonic.. if we aint talkin.. I aint talkin crazy to you.. thats just outta respect forreal.. I grew up around an older sister, my mom, my auties and my grandma.. so u know they taught me how to treat a woman.. esp one who deserves it.. Love yourself before you learn to love me.. and all the things you love about yourself, I will def love too..

Out of all these things, I might be able to excuse one thing off the list.. b/c I feel that I can work with that. BC i know I will never be everything on someones list.. and i would want someone to work with me.. shit.. i aint perfect.. I know Im stubborn, i got a belly, I snore, i forget things.. all type of bullshit.. but seeing through those things will lead you to a REAL man.. someone with goals and a future in mind. Someone who has made sure his whole life that he didnt take the path that all my friends did.. ive fell short a lot of times.. but ive succeeded a few times too.. I want someone to see my potential, to see OUR potential.. to see that I aint tryna be like no one you ever messed with.. as long as you treat me and yourself with respect.. we could be jumpin... you feel me?

My Trip To the Clinic...

First of all.. I encourage EVERYONE to get test a few times a year.. just to be safe and to take care fo yourself and others...

So I'm at the clinic getting tested as everyone should, and like always, I'm observing everything and watching everyone. When I first walk in, I see bowed heads, sad faces and weird looks. Sucks to be them. So I go fill out a few papers and then take my seat. Get my number called, answer a few questions and then go to the room. When I get to the room I remember how much I hate needles. DAMN So I see all the utensils and a niggas stomach starts to rumble. Maybe I shouldda ate before I came.

So Im sitting, reading all the paperwork on the walls and listening to doctors and nurses conversations outside in the hallway. I overhear a nurse telling a story of how they told a lady she wasnt pregnant when she actually was. Her excuse was that the pink lines on the test were too faint and made it inconclusive. Thats fucked up..

So Im chillin, makin sure I dont look all sad or nervous cuz niggas will think I got something off rip if I look sad and shit.. and im cool.. So Im thinking, I wonder what my doctor is gonna look like. Ima a lil shy around pretty strangers sometime, so Im hopin for a fat, white woman. My reason for that is if its a fat black woman, it might remind me of someone I went to church with or something and I aint tryna feel bad. That would be a lil embarrasing tellin a church lady about my sexual experiences.

So the door opens. A fat, german lady walks in. ::wipes forehead internally:: YES! Im cool. She ask me all the questions and I answer with no problem. Then she bring out the needles and the cups.. Nerves start instantly jumping. I pull my arm out, make a fist and she searches my arm for veins. Ima lil thick i guess so she couldnt find one. She said she was gonna go get someone who was good at finding veins.. I thanked her.

I rolled my sleeve down on my Blacc Label shirt and exhaled. Doc came back with a smile. Then followed her was an older black woman, she came in smiling too.. she looked at me, smiled. Looked at the german doc and smiled. Then they both looked at me and laughed and then these chicks HI-FIVED.. No BULLSHIT.. these two ladies just walked in the room im in and just Hi-Fived in front of me like they just won a championship game. They might as well chest bumped or something..
Im like, "The Fuck? whats the hi-fiving for?"... the new doc was like, " Ohh nothing, Im just glad I finally got some bait".

Huh? Bait you say? What do I look like? Put yourself in my shoes... how would you feel at this time? Would you be cool right now? You never see docs hi-fiving all in front of you.. Im trippin right now..

So I pull my sleeve up and turn my head.. she grabs my arm and says "mmm" like she just got a bowl of campbells soup or something, and then tells me I have good veins.. "Thanks??" I say

She finds a vein, pokes me.. and it was over with in no time.. painless forreal.. No problems.. So I finish with everything and then go sit back in the lobby. Same people from earlier are out there. Some dude that frequenly shops at Deveroes was in there, his people, couple white people and some arab looking lady. The Devies dude is one of them "I talk all day and loud as fuck" ass niggas. He was talkin all loud about if his nurse ever told him that he had AIDS he would punch her and then jump out the window.. niggas.. Btwn this and other ignorant comments, he would just blurt out how he had to go pick up his son and how they were taking too long. Then some girl walks out the door from the back and they all get silent. He stares at her up and down as she walks then she tell his dude, "go give her my number". WHATTTT?!?!

You dont holla at no one at a clinic.. not saying everyone at a clinic is infested.. please believe me.. im just sayint that there is a time and a better place to do that at...

Then after that.. he goes up to the arab lookin chick. She was cute.. but she also is in the clinic.. and when I came in, she was the one with her face in her hand.. not a good sign. He asked her does she have a myspace and could he be her new friend. This nigga is tryna spit his A1 game at this lady.. and im just sittin back.. shaking my head.. While he tryna spit at her.. his babymomma call.. he tell his boy to pick it up and tell her that he in the restroom at the the gas station.. as he proceed to keep holla'n at "the face in my hands, arab lookin" lady.

I couldnt make all of this up..

Does It Really Matter Now?

::Typin with a lil smirk::

So... the last post ruffled a lil feathers.. thats whats its posed to do. I always pray that God takes unneeded things out of my life. I pray that the people who aint gonna help me make it to the top, that God just take them out my life. I pray to God that if I'm wrong, put it in me to apologize, make me not make excuses for "being a bad friend" as she says.

Well I aint got it in me.

They used to be my niggas, they use to be my loves, I wouldda did ANYTHING for them. Why such the big change? I put the blame on me. I blame myself for wanting more for myself than what Dayton has to offer. I blame myself for not tryna just be cool with people just bc of what songs they might rap or whose team jersey they wearing. Im right on your front porch with this one.. But these are the reason I feel that I have nothing in common with a few Daytonians. Mind you, I love my city, Ima always have a 937 number.. but not a 937 mentality. Im so proud of my old friends for their accomplishments, but are they ever proud of my for mine?

I mean, I am a product of Dayton, I did go to Dayton Public Schools, but how am I really like you former classmates? Do I have ANY kids, any possible kids out there? Have I had a chick even have an abortion? Hows my record? Any drug or gun charges? Had to visit me in jail? Ever had to put FREE MY NIGGA DJ DURL on your facebook status? I mean, Im still alive.. you never had to put me on a RIP tee.. Am I askin you for money? Am I asking you to babysit my kids? Or am I bringing my kids with us, and are they spoiling our good time?Where my babymomma drama that all us NIGGAS have? Wheres my addictions? Addiction to sex, weed, alcohol, video games, stealing, or anythings else not positive?

Yall so worried about what I'm doin, what about what I'm not doing??

So since this past weekend, Ive gotten random niggas calling me, threatening me, talking shit to me, bc of some problem that a chick has with me... I've had THEE longest negative facebook messages on my wall, for the world to see.. Ive had girls calling my phn after midnight, on a work night, a night before me havin to work all day ((yes, i do have a job that requires clockin in and out)) and tellin me how much a friend that im NOT.

I shrugg my shoulders now.

I hate being like this, bc Ive loved and still in my heart i still do love 2 out of the 3 of these females, I just dont like them. I dont like what they have grown into. But who am I to express that?

So I have kept it in for the longest. I hate were at at this point, but I cant be apart of no more discussions about "DJ DURL" being so different, I want Darrell back, or you spend too much time with unimportant people.

Who the fuck is DJ DURL? and when do I become him? When do I have groupies around me? Last I checked, my bed be empty every night. What makes my current friends soooo lame? Because they werent in my life prior to 04? Who made that rule?

Let me ask you somethings that I dont really expect you answer... Why am I soo wrong for tryin to better myself and keep people around me who I feel is positive and make me smile? So am were you wrong when I didnt hear from you for over a year? Did you want to surround yourself around someone that you loved and someone that you thought was for you and made you better? Unexpectedly I was taking out of your life because of your desicion to better yourself... how selfish of me would it have been to team up wit some other people and try to bring you down from you self-improvement? But when things didnt work out.. I still didnt harbour my old feelings or hurt and betrayal that I did have to keep inside when you left. When I seen you again after the year.. I spoke, smiled and gave you a CD.. such the DJ. I allowed things to be rekindled even after my closer friends didnt want you to be back apart of my life.

Ok.. let me ask another question.. Wasnt I supposed to move with you a few years back? What happened? You got ghost? no words, no text, no calls, I was left hanging. Even when you came back, I just keep throwing it in your face?

I know Im wrong for my heartlessness. At this point we know Im not going to be 04, 06, or even summer of 07 Darrell. So why keep asking for him back? Why not try to understand the present Darrell and see why he isnt the same. Try to understand why we are as cool as before. Ask where am I goin? What are my goals, objectives?

My goal is to be a proud husband and father and to not be ashamed of any part of my like that could be recalled back to me. I dont want someone coming up to my kids and sayin anyhting negative. I dont want nothin comin back to my mother, I dont want nothing coming back to my father, nothin coming back to my sister, no one. Ima make everyone proud. I aint gonna let no one down in my life thats down for me. Anyone who genuinely cares about me and my properity will see that my eyes is on the prize. I swear all I need is more God in my life, I pray that the woman that he puts in my life will be God-fearing and God loving. Ive asked that the ones who arent to be replaced. Maybe God is working. Without the ones who dont have His love, maybe Ill see the ones who do.

Tell me thats wrong...

Things Change...

Question:
When growing up, what if u grow away from your friends? are you being fake? What if you see that you're not on the same paths, is it wrong to go on on your own way? How do you re-establish closeness? Can you still care about and love someone that you no longer talk to?

These are questions that I have in my head often. I have friendships that last through the test of time.. and I have some that have a good run, and then fade. Am I wrong for not staying the same person as I was in high school or in 04? I know back in high school, I was a really selfish person, I was a player of sorts, and I was never really focused. In 04, I was really work minded but also a club head.. I had perfect attendance at FUSION every saturday... Me and Danielle.. drink before we show up.. and dance all night.. that was my dog.. I met a lot of people from there then. But if you knew me then, im prolly not exactly the same.

Now in 08, I'm 26. Im a workaholic, an RnB head and I like to buy shoes and clothes a lot. Thats just me on the outside. But the inner Darrell is way deeper.. Its a lot of things I dont like, rather it be about people or life in general. Its a lot of things that I might've tolerated back in 04 that I wont today.

I hate HOT gurls.. point blank. If I feel that your actions put you in the category or being "hot", I cant really deal with it. I feel as if we prolly dont have much in common. The groupieness in gurls is so unattractive to me in 08. Gurls that wanna talk to, get to know, fuck, or get attention from niggas bc of their car, because they rap, or some other bullshit reason is a big turn off to me. Its hard to see my friends messing with people that they wouldnt normally mess with if these people werent "somebody" to them and the people around them. Its just so unattractive to me. Ive been told that I say my opinion too much or too harsh in the past, so I've learned to let my friends "do what they do" with out havent to hear me display my disgust. With that, I've separated myself from them without even paying attention. If I have nothin nice to say, Ive learned not to say nothin, unless you choose to ask. If you ask me, its my duty to let you know exactly how I feel about you 100%

I have friendship that I cherish, but the friends that I have them with, I really don't speak to them much. These people I still love, as I have before, but some of them I just don't have nothin to say to them. I know it sounds wrong, but if you know me, I dont have many words anyways.

Since I've left the city of Dayton, I've been on myself to not be the same man as when I left. I want to act and be more grown. experience life more, and only open up to a few key people, instead of tryna be EVERYONES friend all the time. When I first would visit dayton, I would have a long list of people to visit in a short time. This made conflict because when I would visit someone, I knew I had someone else on deck and it was cut out the quality of the time I was spending with each person. I was too busy textin the next person, seein where they were.. or I was textin the last person I was with, telling them how much fun I had with them or whatever, I was never spending enough time with each person. Later in the months, I would cut down my list to show less people more time. This would make the ones who didnt get to see me, mad. So I got to the point where I just didnt tell no one I was comin down. Dayton is too small for you to just try to slide in and slide out without being noticed.. so that brought conflict with people sayin "Oh, so you just gonna come to dayton without telling me" or "I gotta make an appointment just to see you". It wouldnt be that, I would just try to see my people without makin everyone mad. I love my people and I miss my people all the time, but how do you see 15 people in one day and spend quality time with them? When it get to that point, the people who dont get to see you as often or as long, they start to call you Hollywood, bc they see your facebook pix with other people. What am i to do?

I got to the point of only visiting people who calle dor texted regular or those who actually took the time to visit me in columbus.. which we kno is just a handful... and just comin up to the club doesnt really count to me. You wouldda did that if I didnt live here anyways. So this soon made a lot of people mad. I started to shrugg my shoulders to it. Which made me seem so nonchalant that I must not care anymore. Which was wrong, it was just nothin left that I could do. There are people that, beause of our history, prolly deserved more time then what I gave, but how was our time spent when I did see you? There was one time when I came and sit with someone special and when I sat with her.. all she did was look at herself in the mirror as we talked. I mean she wasnt directly in the mirror but she was in it the whole time, checkin her hair, eyebrows or whatever while we were speaking. That was annoying. This was a person who said I never spent enough quality time with them and the people who I was spendin time with werent around when she was. Well the people around now sit and eat with me, we might watch a movie together, they ask em to go to family fuctions with them, their kids might be attached to me, so I visit the kids too. There a lot of reasons to me that make one friends bond a lil stronger than the next. Its nothing too personal, its just more of a preference. I might prefer to sit and talk to someone who is cookin for me and jokin with me, then someone who wants me to go to the bar with them and their friends. Maybe I just wanna chill with you, not everyone thats with you.

Even with all of the closeness not as present as it used to be, I still care about these people as much as I did when I was in dayton. My one friend is still always in my thoughts, she was one of the many female bestfriends that I had, but we have both grown into two different people. Our likes and interest are totally different. When you have no common interest, what is there to talk about? I dont have time to spend my lil hour or two with you while Im in the city discussin how I spent time with someone that you dont like the last time I was down. The doesnt make since to me. While I was with that person, please believe they didnt think about you enough to bring you up, so when focus on them during our time?

At this point I dont know what to do. Im not goin to change back into the person they liked before. Im not gonna stop bein cool with other people they dont like. Im not gonna call all outta no where bc EVERYONE knows I dont call no one. I feel bad as hell for not tryin to make things work but I feel like if I try to make things better, than Im not goin to follow through as they would want me to. So that would lead to future dissappointment and arguements. So until I find a bette solution, I will keep it moving. I hate it though. It seems so harsh and uncaring bc I do love them, but I aint who they want me to be, and in the end, I gotta wake up to myself everyday and live with my choices, they dont. They chicks dont even like me like that, so why change or compromise myself just for a friendship? You do that for relationships and marriages. So until I find a better solution, Ima keep changin, for the better hopefully, and pray that you with still love me through my evolution.

Darrell

My Love Letter (P.D.A.)

Dear ______,

How u doin? I missed you today.. been missing you my whole life forreal.. Glad u finally got your mind right and recognized a real man.. yes MAN.. not dude, nigga, boy, young adult or anything less than a man.. God has blessed you and me with a bond that He has been strenghtening that he has had planned since before we made it on this Earth. So many times I've doubted God that you were here for me, but my faith in His word keep me goin and not worryin about all these other GURLS. I found me a real one, a treasure that is so priceless that I could never trade you in. I feel like God made you for me.. and me only.. I like that.
All the wrongs that we been through before made us right for each other. Think of all the bullshit relationships I been through... the arguments, heartache, all the attention they wanted from everyone but me, all the cheating, and wasted time. None of these things well ever describe our relationship. My love for you make these other gurls jealous.. but a real woman would respect my love, dedication and respect for you. Could it be jealousy? Prolly, cuz niggas dont give half a fuck about them as much as I do you. They know that when they ask me, "What you thinking about?" I always say you.. Its like I was meant to be with you.. I love that.. I feel as if my purpose in life is to show that TRUE LOVE does exist.. there are still good men out here.. yall just dont treat them right, yall dont pay no attention to them, yall just wanna be FRIENDS with them, you never take the chance to see how good he can be to you.. you are missing out on the realness of a good relationship chasing these niggas that you kno are on bullshit.. but thats fine.. I LOOOOOOVVEEE mine...
I've always felt as if cant no one make me better.. cant no one give me MY name.. i feel as if i determine all of this.. no one can make me better... until I met you.. you got my swag so hard.. you got me turning my face to all these weak groupies.. the ones who dont know my real name.. the ones who wanna know DJDURL.. not Darrell.. You know me. I thank you for being around when money was low.. when my car was down... when i felt like I was the only one in the world who had problems... when i felt there was no solution.. the days when i didnt wanna get outta bed.. you been my heart.. my joy.. my ALL
I know this isnt like me to show my feelings.. im MR I DONT GIVE A FUCK.. when have i showed my feelings to these other chicks.. I might have showed a lil bit.. but nothing as strong or deep as this... I cant help it.. I been chasing all these other chicks.. you know.. the good-haired light skinned ones.. or the thick brown skinned ones.. you know how much I love them.. but never have i been blinded so much by you..
Fuck all them other weak ass niggas you been with.. i prolly only respect a couple of them niggas.. but we both you know.. you been with some weak niggas... esp when you compare them to me.. excuse my arrogance or confidence... but I know me.. I know my love.. my devotion.. all that.. you were made for me.. and i was meant to fall for you..
I love you Hip Hop stay with me forever

-Darrell

Wont She Just SHUTT UPP?!?!

ABDC is one of my favorite shows now adays.. but dont you just hate it when u love something anfd and theres something that just spoils it..
Its like your favorite restaurant.. with your favorite food, your favorite way.. but the cashier that works theres get on your fuckin nerves... well.. Lil Mama is the cashier to me...
I mean.. who the fuck is she to be giving peoples her opinion about dancing.. bc of the "G-Slide"? hell nah.. i'd prolly rather hear Soulja Boy if that was all it takes... She makes me angry during my favorite show... I mean... i never seen her kill it on the floor like these groups do every week.. she got killed by Chris Brown in her own weak as verison of MJ and JJ's Scream video in "Shawty Get Loose".. I wish you could vote off judges...
What do she be talkin about? and what do she be wearing? them weak ass glittery ass hats.. they are a distraction...
ok.. im done.. sorry.

The Good Days (Quiet Fire) - Track Comments..

This is the more personal side of me right here..
when i actually sit and tell you the motivations and reasons behind some of the songs i put on mixtapes...
This particular mixtape does have a main subject that I picked most of these songs for.. and usually when theres someone in mind.. it bring out some of my best work in my opinion...
This mixtape I dont plan on giving out to too many people b/c I dont think yall gonna feel it as much as I do..
I want people to hear it that will really appreciate it.. people that will hear these songs and think back.. remember when they were younger.. people that will remember their earlier loves.. people that remember singing these songs with their siblings or bestfriends.. someone who used to lock their doors and lay on the floor and listen to these songs when they came out on TAPE and played them over and over again....
I kno I aint the only one.. well if you feel me on that.. you might deserve the CD.. I dont even think this CD is for people below the age of 21... they might not be able to fully relate to all of these songs...

So the person that helped with this is someone who has been in my life before the DJ DURL days.. before the Deveroes days.. back when I was a nigga with braids who kept mixes in my pocket for whoever wanted to listen.. this person has always meant the world to me and never really knew.. Somethings you just keep to yourself.. Me and her for a good week would be on the phn for hours thinking back on old songs.. SINGING at all hours of the night our favorite parts.. rememebering how the videos were when we seen them on VIDEO SOUL.. She is my favorite person.. I love her to death and I tell her all the time that she is the prototype of a good woman/wife.. I feel lcky to have someone so close to me that cares and loves me almost half the amount as I do them.. We not in a relationship like that.. per say.. but i kno that no one will take away my friendship and love for this woman.. she is my right hand.. my right wing... my bestfriend.. my backbone.. my family... she has been there thru all of my ups and downs with all of these crazy ass females and i've been there for her with all the crazy ass niggas.. and thru all of it.. we still here.. we had our lil time apart that i think about everyday that i wish i couldve had back.. but we wont let that happen again.. People never get the flowers while they can still smell them as Kanye said.. which means.. people dont usually get to know how much they mean to you while they are still around.. so im giving her this dedication.. Its personal.. but this is the only way i could let it out... Love U
ok.. the music

1 Michel'le - Something In My Heart
This song is my shit.. this was on one of my early slow jams mixes that i cant find.. this song is such a quiet fire song.. my Dayton people feel me bc we all listened to U92 before we when to sleep.. This song was a personal choice for the cd..

2 Immature - Please Dont Go
Anything that uses RnB from the 90s.. gots to have an Immature track.. that nigga Roger (Batman) got down early on the vocals.. dont be on the phn or around me when this is on.. cuz a nigga will be singing it.. I think this was the video when he and his girlfriend we together and then she felt sick while they we washing a car or something and then she was in the hospital or something.. and died.. sad like the Aaron Hall video. Throwback moment for u..

3 Keith Sweat - How Deep Is Your Love
I just remember hearing this on U92 at nights.. and that damn bass line was crazy.. wooomp woomp woooomp womp.. had to throw this on there...

4 Brandy - BrokenHearted
This version was my favorite.. but she liked the one with Wanya... Brandy was my chick early in the day... that whole first album was my shit.. i played that tape all the time.. i would (no homo) sing this in my falsetto in the house and piss my mom off..

5 Mint Condition - You Send ME Swingin'
This song is totally off my personal subject for the mixtape.. this song is my friend Donna favorite song.. she has great taste in music.. and this was my nod to her.. hopin that one day she gets this mixtape and even if she doesnt like the other songs.. she will at least like one..

6 SWV - Use Your Heart
I had to mellow it out with some SWV... she said "[Name she calls me], you need some SWV on this mix.." we debated.. all of the songs i could think of were all upbeat.. so i shuffled thru some of their song titles.. and found this one.. i love this song.. so i listened to the words to see if they could apply.. and they do.. the song speaks of two people who are tryin to find that real thing.. two people seeking.. using their eyes... not their hearts.. the 2nd verse has meaning to it to me..

7 Janet Jackson - Come Back To Me
This was one of my favorite songs back in the day that i forgot about to Plies brought it back with the Bust It Baby part 2.. I love this song.. its sooo pretty.. she sounds good on this..

8 Janet Jackson - Making Love In The Rain
Ok.. this is where it gets really deep and personal.. making love is something that i never say that i do.. that will happen i guess when i fall in love.. but when me and her first kissed.. it was a rainy night.. and this song was in my head the whole time.. the connection was crazy.. at least for me.. it almost scared me.. you kno.. im Mr. No Emotions.. and now im kissing someone and hearing love songs in the background?? thats crazy.. I felt that when i ever make "love" that the kisses involved would feel like those that night.. deep right?

9 SOS BAND - Tell Me If You Still Care
This song is soo quiet fire.. i love the beat.. but i used this because i love the song of the transition from the song before to this one.. and i used it so i could mix the next song...

10 Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby Remix
Same beat as track 9.. this song takes me back to 8th grade.. loved this song.. everyone sings to this when they hear this..

11 The Deele - Two Occasions
Little things mean a lot to me.. one time when we were on the phone.. she said this to me before we went to sleep and got off the phone.. i replied by saying.. quit playing.. she said.. Im laughing while i say it, but i mean it.. To have someone tell me what i would say to them makes me smile..

12 Brandy - I Wanna Be Down
This is another classic Brandy track.. we were on the phone thinkin back on this song and the dances that it makes u do when u hear it.. Its a song that anyone could relate to when they like someone.. so maybe this will have you thinkin about someone you would like to be down with..
"if all you need is time.. that i got plenty of"

13 Total - Kissing You Remix
Once again she was like "[Name she calls me], you aint got no Total on none of you Good Days Cds.." I was tryna wait on them for the Bad Boy RnB Mixtape.. but i thought i would drop this banging ass, summer feeling, love song.. when u hear this you just think of someone with you.. just yall two layin together.. looking at each other.. waitin on them to make that move for the kiss.. and when they finally do it.. u just feel your shoulders being untense.. you didnt even kno they was tense.. but it feel like you just exhaled or something.. and you just look at them in their eyes and bite you lip or smirk or something... or at least thats what i do.. haaa

14 - Faith Evans - Won't You Come Over
I had this song cued up to actually be on another mixtape.. The Originals pt 4 to be mixed with my nigga Flams song, Text Message.. But this song is sexy.. i thought that after to "Kissin U" there has to be something to build up on.. so i had to drop this on.. and speakin of drops.. you gotta pay attention to where I drop my name through out this song and the mixtape.. i drop my name so that when u are singing the song.. when the drop comes.. the ladies can just say my name right with it like they are singing to me..

15 Tevin Campbell - Always In My Heart
This song is kind of a dedication.. not the 1st verse.. more like the chorus.. "if i never ever tell you that i love.. just remember gurl Im sayin I do.. love u.." When I care about my people.. i really do care.. I love those who love me.. i might not say it much.. but i do feel that way.. Tevin says the words for me.. and sings them soooo well.. 2nd verse and the chorus is all me.

This is like the hardest thing for me to show the sensitive part of my mind.. and heart.. but i usually feel better after i express it.. even if the feelings dont turn into a relationship or whateva, im just proud of my heartless self of having feelings and allowing myself to open..
Background Story:
So many times before in my life gurls would be like.. "if you told me you liked me.. we couldve kicked it" so i prolly have missed out on a few people just by not showin emotions or letting no one in.. B/c the ones i do show emotions to and let in.. they usually fuck things up.. or just leave a nigga hanging.. so I've learned to be able to express my feelings to someone but not expect them to feel the same.. the ones i usually care about and love have their own situations or reasons why we arent to together.. I so used to dissappointment in women that it doesnt bother me as much as it used to.. i just want to show everyone that i do have feeling for that I care for them.. and always remember that u have a piece of my heart.. what they chose to do with it is on them.. i already kno ima be ok.. when im finally with the one GOD has made for me.. i hope they will have it in their hearts to be happy for the one they let go..

Wow... didnt expect to say this much.. shows that ive had a lot on my mind.

***USHER - HERE I STAND*** DJ DURL Review
Whats good.. so the Usher just leaked.. so of course.. i had put my 2 cents in right??Well i been anticapating this one just like all of us RnB fans.. so i hope it doesnt dissappoint..
1- Intro
The intro is pretty hot.. Sound like her at church or something.. would be something to dedicate to a chick.. im feelin it... i just dont understadn why it was cut off..
2 - Love in the Club
We all kno how this jumps in the club.. we look forward to hearing this..
3- This Aint SexWeird
title.. made me worder how he was gonna go at this.. while listening to it.. i just kinda have straight face.. this song doesnt just catch me at the 1st listen... not a fan..
4- Trading Places
Beat comes in stupid hard.. this the kinda Usher song i been waiting for.. the grown shit.. that u wanna hear in the club and whisper it to the chick.. The chorus makes me smile.. its funny.. he got this off.. he speakin switchin roles with the chick.. from makin the breakfast.. to being on top.. to her tellin him to shut up bc "he" goin wake the neighbors.. shits kinda hot tho.. kinda reminds me on "Do it To Me"
5- Moving Mountains
If you got any of my recent rnb cds.. u have heard this early.. this song is my SHIIITTTTT... this on some "u got it bad" shit.. he speaking on the bad parts of the relationship when yall dont even speak.. dont even talk.. just argue.. but on the inside he struggling on tryna make it work.. but its too late.. what has been done has already been done... i think the dream wrote this.. at least it seems like it.. on the early version it sound like him on the bridge..This is ushers newest single.. the video is already on MYSPACE... search for it.. its really good..
6- Whats Your Name? ft Will I Am
Im def not a Will i Am fan.. the beat kinda makes me wanna skip the song.. it sounds like a Justin Timberlake sound.. 1st listen didnt make me wanna hear it again.. Will I Am.. isnt too bad on the song.. ::skips to the next song::
7- Prayer For You (Interlude)
This is a song for his baby... i cant relate.. but he sounds nice tho..
8-Something Special
At this point.. im like Cmon Usher.. impress me.. we been waitin since 04 for some hot shit... this song is kinda acoustic or unplugged.. i mean.. i see his aim for it.. but im just not impressed..
9- Love You Gently
Song comes on kinda rushed.. but it slows down shortly.. then it gets good.. another one of them slow jams thats gonna be on the mixtapes..
10- Best Thing ft JAY Z
I feel this.. i plan to be like this song one day.. jay speaks on the growth of a player.. scared of commitment and havin anyone close.. and how shes the best thing and he has grown to see that.. Glad Jay got 2 verses.. he spits truth.. makes me wanna find "The Best Thing"
11- Before I Met You
You can tell this nigga in love and got him a chick he cant live without.. he speaks on how he was a hustler and a player.. before he met you.. but you changed the game.. thats all it takes is one good one to put stuff in perspective..
12 - His Mistakes
Also on my mixtape 100% Usher.. he shows off his vocal range on this one.. i really repect that.. the store is the story of my life.. bein punish for another mans mistakes.. and its usually the babydaddy in my case.. love this song tho
13 - Appetite
this story is story of a commited man.. who still has a very big appetite for the women.. so he goes on the internet.. he finds a chick at the airport.. all types of stuff.. he on some Eric Benet sex addict shit with this one.. this nigga started rappin at the end.. Usher.. miss me with that tho..
14- Whats a Man To Do?
This song is about having two chicks.. loves both.. and is torn.. been there before.. damn near there now.. i feel this.. 15 - Lifetime
Its an ok song.. not too much to say about this one..
16 - Love in the Club pt 2
Pretty good songs too.. love this song.. beyonce and wayne do this song justice..
17- Here I Stand
This sounds like a Quiet Fire song.. i like the feel of it.. i would prolly catch myself singing it... its pretty nice2 mins after this song is over.. theres a bonus song.. i think its called "Will Work For Love"... nigga please..

I give the cd a strong 7 out of 10 on the 1st listen.. first listen is always the hardest for me.. so thats not tooo bad.. Usher just got high expectations.. confessions was that shit.... hope u enjoyed my review.. so go get the cd and read my review and see if u feel meDJDURL