H.E.R.

When I see her.. I stare..
I get lost in the moment..
I forget im here.. I just know that she is there..
When she speaks to me.. I zone
I look for her in traffic
I wait for her to message me, or text my phone
She's the only one I see in a crowd
No sounds, no noise..
As quiet as its kept, my emotions scream loud..
A nigga too old for a crush...
Its more like an interest.. a liking
Why am I looking in the mirror? Wheres my brush?
Durl, You gotta shake this off..
She just a lady, so what if shes nice
My nigga, you starting to sound soft
She works, goes to school, and no BM
Shes the one to know
Brah, Dont lose your swag, U cant be OD'n
18nUp clubs, you will never find her.
She swagged on me when our path crossed
Its stuck in my head, I dont need a reminder
Exhale when Im near her, I smile when I see her
She makes these other gurls look like randoms
Trying hard to match, but they couldnt be her
Success to her, is more than wealth
She wont need you to hold her down,
You can tell by the way she carries herself

So let me explain:
When I see her, I stare, I get lost in moment is like.. when u see someone and you are just in stuck mode... you could be at work folding clothes, in the middle of a conversation and when u see that person.. its over for whatever u was doin til you get done zoning out..
When we do speak, i zone in..no one else matters during those moments.. and when she aint around, I look for her when Im driving, hoping Ill bump into her in traffic maybe, or at the mall or something..
Or sometimes I hope she might send me a message through myspace or facebook or even a message through someone.. u know like "So&so tols me to tell you that she said hi"... that would be the shit right?
Or maybe one day, Ima just get a random text from her, and she gonna be like, "What u doing this weekend?" and ima just play it cool :)
When she happens to be around, shes all I see or pay attention to
No sounds can be heard.. bc your mind and thoughts have taken over.. whatever that person in front of you is sayin, aint being heard or taken in.. u paying attention to "them".. that "one"
And Im not an emotionally expressive person, but you can see my happiness when she comes around..
Im too old for crushes.. I would just sayin that maybe I got my eye on someone, or someone has the qualities that I would look for in someone.. but why is that when I see her.. Im checkin myself, making sure everything right, my taper is together, my shoes is clean, stuff like that..
All this extra shit just aint me and I notice it, so I have my internal dialog and I tell myself to chill, shake it off, dont lose your cool.. she just a lady, like youre a man.. dont put her on no pedestal
She gets it in on a mature level, she takes classes, got her a job, and following her dreams and got plans to make it.. and she aint no ones Babymomma.. ::thumbs up::
She the type of chick that got good connect to whatever you might need, shes the one to know
With all of these qualities, I gotta see and remember that I obtain these too.. dont go in too deep or too hard.. dont OD ((Overdose... ie Go too hard))
You would never see her in these young clubs, being hot, or unladylike.. you gotta respect that..
And when I last seen her, her whole AURA just swagged on me.. to the point of remembering what she wore, and even when she just be on some regular, she still swaggin..
When I see her, I smile, its a natural reaction, and my bad days dont even matter when she comes around.. it allows me to exhale a lil bit.. You need someone who can have that affect you.. soft of like an umbrella on a rainy day..
Then when these chicks start seeing what Im seein, they try to imitate.. they might even act as they are cool, just to bite.. but REAL recognize real tho.. so imitations wont last..
Success for her would to be to reach a higher level or wherever she is.. whether its understanding, goals, or relationship with God.. how sexy is that tho?
She doesnt need a man to carry her, do for her, make her or break her.. she carries her ownself.. true meaning of independence..

So you like that way I flipped this right?? A nigga dont be getting all Poetic Justice like that on yall do I?? Well I had to do it.. I also want you to ponder on my subject too.. heres the questions that Ima leave you with:

Is this a real person??

Is this about a few females just balled into one??

Is this all made up??

Is this all one big metaphor about my love for music??

Is this my letter to someone that I secretly admire, and Ill just let them know in secret??

Is this really about me?? From a females point of view, but still in my own words????

What does H.E.R. stand for, if anything?

What U Think??

I Think Im In Love...... Again.

As the song, "Prototype" goes... I really feel the strong feeling of love again...

I been tryna chill for a whle.. stay focused with work an tryna move to my next level.. whatever that might be.. i been just tryna pumy thought to the back of my mind... but i fnally gave in.. and went back... i followed my heart back to a fimiliar place.. place that im always happy.. where the things on the outside are just things on the outside... when I dont feel like doing anything else... when i get so caught up that i dont even answer phone calls or return txts...

This music shit has me soooo sprung out.. Today is my first off day since since i went to pic my comp up from my dayton.. For those who dont knw.. My comp got fucked up on my over the christmas time.. it stopped turning on .. and when it did turn on, it would shut itself off before it finished loading.. I had some corrupt files.. and everything had to be deleted... SALTY... like deep heart break.. i was hurt to lose all of my progams and mixes that ive made over the last 4 years since this happened... You would think that since this has happened before that I would have learned... NOPE.. im hard headed.. Ive learned this tme.. I got me a flashdrive and im goin to purchase a external hard drive also...

But today, as I downloaded limewire and went to all my sercret websites with all the new and good music... i felt oooo happy hearing music again.. ive been listenin to the same things for about a month now.. i was getting tired of it... While watchin a BIGGIE documentary on BET, i started downloading all my favorite bad boy songs.. then after reciting all my favorite lines.. i went and downloaded my favorite Jay Z songs.. and now Im downloading my favorite OUTKAST songs... just love the way the music makes me feel.. I wish a woman ge grab me the way this music does... I would have a ring on deck.. this is such my passion and I thank God everyday for keeping a song in my head ALL the time..

Every Word in This Blog is Gonna Be About U!!!

I wrote this in 2006 on my myspace blog.. and it still makes sense.. so i copied and pasted for those who havent read it..

"YOU"

So... 2006 has been a hell of a year so far... and it aint over...all of the memories of this year would be a great movie... think of where you were last year this time... think of the love that has turned to hate.. and the strangers that have turned into friends.. and old friends that have turned in to better friends... all of these things have happened for a reason...

Love yourself.. b/c you cant love no one unless you do... deal with your problems and ask for help sometimes... love those who love you back.. and when they show their love.. dont turn your back.. dont change...

You are a beautiful person.. inside and out.. and some see it.. but many overlook it... but keep growing... keep goin... one day that one person will open their eyes... Look in the mirror and love what ur lookin at... someone else out there does... so why dont you??

Think of who you were around this time last year.. and see what u have learned in the past 365... things aint always what they seem... but dont let that hold you back... dont let what one person has done to you keep you from someone who will right all the wrongs...

Love yourself and fulfill your goals.. finish what u have started.. use your talents and do what u love... finish school... get a job you actually like.. get money.. hang around postitive people who are movin forward and love those who have shown love back...

You are not alone... look at all the people who tihnk highly of you... give them a chance... open up... say what you feel... and mean what u say... sometimes conflict will come but you live and you learn... you gettin older now... so you are learning a lot... your on your own.. no one to fall back on.. and your makin it.. and you still got your family... and your loved ones... so be happy.. and learn something everyday... and if they dont notice how special you are... FUCK EM.. haha...

Love, Yourself