My B.I.G. Day

Man... People who know me, know how long ive been waitin to see the NOTORIOUS movie..

Way back when i first saw the preview... i was like.. ehhh.. then as more previews came out.. I got more excited.. as more advertisements were made.. i got more hype.. I even blogged about it..
But since One More Chance came out.. Ive been a BIG fan.. The video was like a house party that I wish I could throw and it just seemed fun.. I remember actually buying the cd single to that with the remix on it.. Ive had too many T-shirts with Biggie on them.. watched all the documentaries.. bought all the magazines.. i had the Source when he had the Grey suit on and the cigar.. way back in the day..
I mean.. i was him for halloween back in 06




So we all should know my excitement for the day of the movie..
I had prepared myself an outfit to wear so that i would be somewhat "festive" for the event.. i found me a red and black vest.. with the lumberjack print that Biggie rapped about.. and wore some Jordans that came out around 95.. something that he mightve even wore.. feel me? My bestfirned said i was goin to far.. but i dont get excited often.. so I went all out on this one.. so as the day arrived.. I made sure that i only had to work til 5.. so i would be ready at anytime to go..
My initial plans was to go to the movies with my bestfriend Ashley.. she knew how important it was for me.. so she wanted to come up from dayton to see it with me.. but all the snow and cold weather that came that week messed that up.. I told her not to risk it, and to just stay in Dayton.. So I decided to go with some coworkers..
I burned the clean version of "Life After Death" so we could play it in the store.. and we did.. as it played all the customers would automatically start talkin about their plans for the night to see the movie.. That got me even more hype.. While at work.. we all named each other someone in the BadBoy family.. (we goofy right?)... of course.. I was big.. my Assistant Quan, was Puff.. My full timer, Rachel, was Lil Kim.. bc we all know that outta everyone in Columbus I know.. Rachel is the most down for me and gets the most jealous.. knowing this.. Franny was named, Faith..Fran dont work there.. but wherever she calls for me.. "Lil Kim" gets jealous.. so it all makes since.. Leon was Jay Z and another light skinned cashier was Charli Baltimore.. So all day, we spoke with new york accents and called each other by our new names.. it was funny as hell..
Knowing that it was bout to be crazy trying to get tickets.. I had my nigga Dre buy me and Lil Kim a ticket for the 915 show.. good thing bc it was later sold out.. So I got dressed.. pick her up from work and we shooted straight to the theatre.. Dre ended up going to the 830 show.. and Roniquia was gonna meet us there.. Dre called and told me, "whenever you were planning on gettin here.. get here 20 mins earlier". SO I heeded to his words and sped there.. All the garages at Easton were filled to capacity.. So i had to park a lil far.. esp for how cold it was..
So Rachel and I hopped out and ran to the theatres inside of the Easton Mall.. and I saw that we werent the only one rushing to the doors.. I texted Roni to make sure she still had seats for us.. and she did.. So I told her to look for the Bubble vest.. When we got in.. it was stupid deep with kids.. Thank God Im old enough to get through all the security checks.. I had to show ID 2 times.. I guess that good bc I had already heard about the nude scenes..
So get i it..
Saw Roni..
and go to the top to get in the seats..
Good seats.. thanx Roniquia
The crowd wasnt too deep yet.. but this was a nigga movie and it was still a good 15 mins before it started..
People began filing in.. more white people were there than I thought too..
lights got low.. and made sure that Rachel knew that I wasnt bout to get up to get anything while the movies were on.. she so she would know..
But I did want an icee tho..
Anyways..
The previews were good.. Beyonce and Madea got some good movies on deck..
So as the movie goes on.. i pay close attention to the accurancy of the movie.. I loved the comedic side of it.. you know I always got jokes..
Roniquia did have a lil bet goin on.. I told her that Lil Kim would be naked 4 times.. I think she ended up being naked 3 tho.. but shit.. that was good enough.. naturi was a pretty lil kim

It def couldda been worse..
Faith was a good look in the movie.. and Derek Luke was my nigga everytime he did the Puffy dance..
I love the movie a lot.. and Im glad I got to go with the people that I went with.. I never get to spend time with Roniquia.. so that was good.. and Rachel got all emotional and cried at the end...
Since the movie dropped.. its all people have been talkin about lately (other than our new president) and i love to engage in the conversations.. it was really a great experience..

It has made me to decide to go to BROOKLYN for my bday.. i pray that God allows this.. this would be so great for me to experience the birthplace of hip hop.. and where two of raps legends came from... Jay and BIG.. shit... even Fab.. I just wanna walk down the street.. smell the air.. hear the noises.. eat the food from the street vendors.. and shop my ass off.. I wanna catch a cab.. i wanna go across the bridge..

i cant wait..
so ARE U COMIN WITH ME????

So I Got This From Sam...

Sam had some questions on her blog that I thought might be interesting to answer.. since everyone elses questions for me are taking so long to come..

heres sams blog.. go read.. its interesting.. and you might wanna read older blogs to be current with the stories.. you might catch me in one of them..
http://mzinspiredmind.wordpress.com/


10 Things you wish you could say to ten different people
1. You have really fell off since i stopped messing with you..
2. Youre negativity about everything is sooo unattractive
3. If I take one more drink.. im gone end up _______ you
4. If you would cheat on him, you would cheat on me..
5. I wish I knew what was wrong so I could make things right for you..
6. The dudes that you like are lame as fuck forreal.. "recognize a real one when you see one" as my nigga BIG said..
7. I cant forget how u hurt me when i see you.. but damn u do look good..
8. You werent my 1st.. or even my second..
9. I think your "loudness" is a defense mechanism
10. You stupid as hell for still being with dude..

9 Things about yourself
1. You will hardly ever see me look in a mirror
2. I would never take club photos in the past bc they always ended up on t-shirts
3. I dont really want kids but I would love to have a lil me running around and I would also like to have a lil daughter that I could protect..
4. I love watching the food channel
5. I would trade any club night.. with a night in with someone I really like..
6. I had a deep fear for bad news.. and letting my family down
7. I would love to have sex on a balcony while its raining..
8. Makes buying shoes too much of a priority sometimes..
9. I miss my mom.. i wish she lived in columbus with me..

8 Ways to win my heart
1. If we are in the same room.. make eye contact with me, and smile..
2. When a song that reminds you of me comes on.. tell me..
3. Support DJ DURL, and love Darrell
4. If we are somewhere shopping.. tell me what you would like to see me in.
5. Lay on me and let me play in your hair
6. Make my house, your house.. i love feeling as if she might be staying with me tonight..
7. Invite me somewhere with you and your friends.. and dont call me your "friend, manager, this dude, or something else meaningless"
8. Cook with and for me on sundays b/c I HATE being alone on sunday evenings...

7 Things that cross my mind a lot
1. Will I ever have kids..
2. I wonder who is watching me and loving the way I am me..
3. I wonder who is watching mw and waitin to see me fail
4. Will I make it into Heaven?
5. How does God feel about me?
6. Why am I so scared to get my music shit together and be on stage with it?
7. Am I really appreciated by everyone?

6 Things I do before I go to sleep
1. Check my facebook
2. Check My phone
3. Make sure I see where my keys are so I know where they are in the morning
4. Thank God for today..
5. Watch First 48
6. Turn on my Lloyd mix and lay down

5 People I couldn’t live without
1. God
2. Mom
3. Thats
4. About
5. It!

4 Things I am wearing right now
1. Hoop Shorts
2. Wife Beater
3. Boxers
4.

3 Songs that fit my life perfectly(right now)
1. Young Jeezy - Crazy World
2. Jodeci - Im Still Waiting
3. Musiq - Forthenight

2 Things I want to do before I die
1. Go to Brooklyn
2. Make u happy..

1 Confession
I didnt have sex til I was 20.. by choice.. not by chance.. please believe..

Frustration

Ladies and Gentleman...
I do appreciate all of your feedback lately.. Quietly, I been going through it.. I hate to bore you with it.. but Im just goin to act as if this is my diary.. so you do have to read..

First i will define frustration to have all of this make sense...
a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

I am frustrated.

I feel as if im in a mental boxing match.. Im taking this punches.. and im blockin but now im starting to feel them.. As much as I hate to speak on negativity.. esp in my life.. I will see if this will help any..
Ima young adult.. so image means a lot to us... I never want anyone to have a negative image about me.. honestly.. if you dont work with me, you dont really get to see me... I never really have much face to face time with you.. and all you have of me is our memories, my facebook status or pics and my blog entries.. we all know that people tend to remember the negative things more than the postive... so thats why I never try to leave you with a negative image..

Some things that are frustrating me are these things:

This money issue is getting to me.. I got money.. im just tired of the money Im getting.. Dont get me wrong.. I thank God for the salary I get.. it gets me thru and helps my shoe fetish, but damn... I need to find a new way.. I need to get more gwap.. who doesnt? This is minor tho.. im not trippin too much on this one.. im just bitching bc I paid my bills today..

Of course these females.. Ive spoke on how gurls take me the wrong way.. or some just dont get me... I know ima lil different, but im not that different.. I know I have a problem with expressing myself and im not really agressive at trying to get to know new people, so that could be part of my problem. I feel as if I am at the age to settle down, but that dont mean Ima settle for less. I want someone close to me, mentally and physically. I wanna have something to look forward to when I get off work... I want someone who will be my best friend. This is prolly why I like/love my bestfriends so much.. My two female best friends are how I would like my chick to be like.. Just real women. I love them for that. They both bring out different sides of me.. Tyra always makes me wanna be better.. she love me bc Im better than most of these niggas.. I come correct to people.. She gets it in with work, school and being a mom.. She has her own home and a nice car.. all by herself.. her ambition to grind til she gets it is what I love to see a gurl have.. and my other bestfriend, Ashley, is someone who is breaking through all of lifes struggles and making ways out of no ways.. using all resources to make sure her and my God daughter make it to the top.. and the most important thing about this women is that they are God-fearing Christians.. but both of these women are my friends.. just my friends.. I want someone close to me that will bring out different things in me.. I do have emotions.. who can bring them out? I care.. who can get me to show that?

Then the thing that gets me is when I start to wonder all of these things about women, another part of me says.. dont even worry about it, brah... yeah.. I call myself brah sometimes.. but anyways.. Theres no reason to go tryna to make a situation that God doesnt have in His plans.. I cant try to make a situation different than what it is.. I cant stress on finding the one God made for me.. God will have them find me.. I hope they shop at Deveroes or something bc thats the only place I see people.. I just get reminded at times how SINGLE I am.. I wanna buy nice things for someone special, or I wanna go some where.. I wanna see a movie.. these are all things that u need someone for.. but these things also take away from my money.. so I guess it aint always too bad...

My latest issue is with my family.. not a bad one as if they did something to me.. its just the things going on.. My grandpa is dying.. Born in 1926, my Grandpa has seen it all.. and Im glad he seen a black president.. but his time is almost up.. I feel as if I have to be the strong one.. My dad is gonna crack.. my sisters already calling me crying everyday.. his wife is gonna be done with.. and my Aunts gonna be hurt too.. So I feel as my 26 yr old self is gonna have to be the one that Grandpa is proud of for taking care of the family.. Its hard from up here tho.. But also, Im glad Im not around so I wont be so down.. I havent cried since my Grandma died in November of 06.. I cried a coupla times after over it when I was with Erin, but after the pain of losing my grandma and then being played by ol gurl.. my emotions have been bottled up... locked away.. never opened.. Im emotionally frustrated.. Im scared to cry.. I cried when she died and I couldnt stop.. I have strong feelings about things.. and I really get hurt when stuff like this happens.. I dont wanna cry in front of my friends.. but I also dont wanna cry alone? That make sense? I just hate knowing something not positive is bout to happen.. Im praying for my grandpa.. I just dont want him to suffer... and its hard when I have to work all day, away from my family, and my sister calls me crying in the middle of my day decribing how bad things are.. I cant do nothing.. i hate it that its like that.. but I cant.. i cant even show emotions bc if im sad, my sisters is going to be worse.. so I just tell her to pray, stop crying and not to let Grandpa see her like that... We know that Grandpa dont like seein us emotional like that.. I got my first hug from him this year bc he says "He dont hug"... i had to take me a hug from my grandpa..

And im not even gonna talk about sexual frustration...

but hopefully this has helped me a lil bit..

Shaking my Head...

I know its so cliche to say "im different... im not like most niggas"
But i honestly believe that I aint.. i dont think like the guys that u normally meet, like, love or hate..
I really feel a separation between me and them...

I say that to speak on this..

So I have female friends and they def outnumber the males.. so one night.. while textin a friend of mine.. female of course.. by the time the conversation starts its already late... we both express our boredom and I say how both of us kickin it would keep us from being bored.. she expresses how late it is.. I express how grown we are.. and told her that if she gets sleepy, she could just say here..
I had no intentions of doing anything extra with her.. i mean, shes cute.. but I dont want her.. we already had our period of talkin.. it went no where.. but I did like her company... shes cool.. intelligent and she aint a hood rat..

So after sayin this to her, she like.. "I dont think thats a good idea.. we are cool and I like that but im not cool with spendind the night with you.. i dont wanna go back to that and I hope u understand that"

HOLD UP.. to me.. as a dude.. i was a little offended.. as if she was thinkin I had alterior motives and I was tryna to say what I could to get her to come sleep with me for other reason than to sleep.. I wish these gurls knew me...

Ladies.. a few of you who read this has actually been around me enough to know that, if im ready to go to sleep.. thats all thats gonna happen..
I have a bed and a footon.. can a nigga just want someone around sometimes?? My life aint always as glamorous as everyone makes it.. Im not always hugged up on some chick.. I like company.. and I rarely get it.. so when I offer time to someone.. I hate it when they think Im "trying to do something". I instantly get offended.. I just wanna be like, "I dont wanna fuck you anyways really..." Dont play me like Im some thirsty ass nigga.. please dont do that... if you want to know the truth... ask anyone who has been with me... Im not the sexaholic.. not at all.. I mean.. a nigga like to have someone around.. and if I am physical with someone.. I might touch a lil more or so.. but never am I a sex fiend.. I might be a "head" fiend more than anything but thats a whole nother blog.. I just ask you.. please dont get it twisted... maybe I just want you around..

Darrell

I Think Im In Love...... Again.

As the song, "Prototype" goes... I really feel the strong feeling of love again...

I been tryna chill for a whle.. stay focused with work an tryna move to my next level.. whatever that might be.. i been just tryna pumy thought to the back of my mind... but i fnally gave in.. and went back... i followed my heart back to a fimiliar place.. place that im always happy.. where the things on the outside are just things on the outside... when I dont feel like doing anything else... when i get so caught up that i dont even answer phone calls or return txts...

This music shit has me soooo sprung out.. Today is my first off day since since i went to pic my comp up from my dayton.. For those who dont knw.. My comp got fucked up on my over the christmas time.. it stopped turning on .. and when it did turn on, it would shut itself off before it finished loading.. I had some corrupt files.. and everything had to be deleted... SALTY... like deep heart break.. i was hurt to lose all of my progams and mixes that ive made over the last 4 years since this happened... You would think that since this has happened before that I would have learned... NOPE.. im hard headed.. Ive learned this tme.. I got me a flashdrive and im goin to purchase a external hard drive also...

But today, as I downloaded limewire and went to all my sercret websites with all the new and good music... i felt oooo happy hearing music again.. ive been listenin to the same things for about a month now.. i was getting tired of it... While watchin a BIGGIE documentary on BET, i started downloading all my favorite bad boy songs.. then after reciting all my favorite lines.. i went and downloaded my favorite Jay Z songs.. and now Im downloading my favorite OUTKAST songs... just love the way the music makes me feel.. I wish a woman ge grab me the way this music does... I would have a ring on deck.. this is such my passion and I thank God everyday for keeping a song in my head ALL the time..

When Life Gives U Lemons....

Hey Everyone...
Its Christmas.. and the end of 08.. I have a lot of things to be thankful for.. My life aint too bad.. i still have a job.. Im making more money this year than I was at this time last year.. Ive gotten close to a lot of people that I wanted too.. IM STILL ALIVE.. Ive been able to spend all my hoidays with now 82 year old grandpa... man I love him.. he just said "Its almost the new year, and I aint got rich yet".. aint he speakin for all of us??
man.. niggas need money...
With all the good things going on.. theres always things that try to test my faith... Like for example.. you know a nigga like me is always on the computer.. if I aint working.. Im reseaching something on the computer.. and now.. my computer dont wanna do past the start up screen.. whenever I start it up.. It cuts right back off... Aint that a bitch?!?!?

So let me put you in perspective on how much my computer is important to me and my life..

My computer is LOADED with music... Last time I checked my iTunes.. it said I had 23 Days worth of music... and thats without all of my mixes.. Im well over 100 mixes now.. esp since lately, ive mixed two radio shows.. My bobby vaentino mix, my Mary J Blige Mix and a few other mixes in the past month... So Im praying that its not my hard drive.. Ive just been leavin it alone and lettin it rest lately.. hopefully itll get back jumpin.. bc I need alllll of that music..

But even if it doesnt work.. i wont trip.. ive been praying.. I been talkint o God.. this might be his way of telling me that I need to fiend for HIM as much as I fiend for this music.. Im sure he understands a lil bit, bc He is the one that made me how I am.. he knows how addicted to the music I am.. So im prayin for a good ending to this story...

I just pray that people dont trip on the little things esp in 09.. little things will keep u away from big things.. you can be soo hung up on some bullshit and mess up you chance for the better things...

So I pray that everyone has a lot of lemonade in 09

Sooooo... I had the whole "13 Question" thing a few weeks ago.. and the last set came late.. so i thought I would still at least post them...
and heres what she wrote...


sorry...we just never got up on AIM. but here are your 13..

1.what made you start mixing?
Man.. I been wantin to mix as long as i could remember.. i used to played two tapes at the same time to make songs mix.. but now since I have a real way to do it, I mix.. and I mix alll the time..

2.where's the one place in the world you want to visit most?
Brazil... def for the ladies, food and overall culture..

3. where was your favorite place to hang out at in high school?
Over my friend Crystals house.. her and my cousin used to smoke weed and be blowed as fuck.. and I would just laugh and joke with them all night... I never smoked with them tho..

4. why do you love Alicia Keys so much? ((besides her obvious good looks!))
I mean, its mostly bc of her looks.. but besides that.. she smart as hell.. i watch her interviews.. I love how she speaks.. and carries herself.. she is the shit to me.. and she dummy thick...

5. If you could get your neice && god daughter anything what would it be?
I would love to give them a paid for college education.. and a coupla pair of fresh ass jordans..

6. if you could have a super power it would be...?
Teleport.. traveling takes more time than I want it to.. if i could have a second one.. it would def be to be invisible

7. what impresses you the most?
self confidnce, and unique-ness.. the ability to open my eyes to something i wouldnt have noticed

8. if you went to school again for something what would it be?
Computer graphics or web design

9. what's your dream car?
I really dont know.. I guess whatever car makes my "pussy rate" go up.. haaa

10. if you ever have a son would you consider naming him Darrell no middle name the III?
never.. well cant say never.. but no..

11. when we go a bar what should I expect you to order?
Goose.. maybe a long island if i tryna get fucked up quick..

12. do you have a favorite year?
07.. def

13. what song are you thinking about? ((cuz I know you have one in your head))
Bobby Valentino - Cant Wait Til Later... Everytime i think of summer of 07.. i hear Bobby V's cd..

Thanks boo.. hope u were informed..

Musiq - OnMyRadio Review

I felt strongly about this cd.. so i felt I had to blog about this..
take this trip in my mind..
Im gonna talk about some people.. not directly.. but u might know if Im at your door..and also.. u might hear me knockin.. but i aint really talking about you... its just my thoughts, manifested...




1 Backagain -
This song seems to be about a relationship, that was over.. and been over.. and then outta no where.. the other party wants to come back and talk about things and work things out.. For us normal people.. aint that some shit when someone you are completely over.. comes back or at least tries too.. confusing right?? Youve got urself past the period of questioning urslef on the situation.. then.. BOOM.. more unceertainty.. more questions... should I jump back in the poool that almost drowned me once before?? Should I jump back in the pool that left me high and dry??

2 Until
I love this song.. the beats nice.. the "J'Adore" perfume commercial sample is hot.. i love the length of time he describes that his love will last.. we all have someone who we know that we will love forever.. no matter who else comes in our lives after.. I know I have a few of those.. he did is thing on this one...

3 IfULeave

I didnt really listen to this song when it first hit the radio.. but after further review.. its a good, well written song.. this nigga Musiq be saying what I be thinking forreal.. He is speakin on my side of relationships that Ive had that were cut short... some many times gurls have gotten so upset over tryna get through my hardheadness.. and please believe, im hardheaded and stubborn.. but i change with time.. on my time.. I feel you tho.. I know that we are on two different clocks.. and I cant help it.. so if you feel that you will do best without me.. I gotta let you do you.. but im doing me.. and that what the issues are.. no love lost.. I do understand.. you dont understand how many times Ive gone through it.. If i put u through it.. raise your hand...

4 deserveUmore

This is a selfish song.. and i fuckin feel it.. sometimes you just want to be on that... "who deserves you more than me??" that how I feel.. sometimes after all the time and feelings uve invested.. all the molding and everything that comes with that, u dont want someone to reap all of your hard work you sowed for years.. I deserve that.. and ima fight for that shit.. thats no one who deserves you more..

5 Special
Nice song.. nice lyrics.. not one of my personal favorites on the album.. but still a good song.. for some reason I feel like this song needed like Q-Tip or Rapheal Saadiq on it.. feel me tho?? I like the line.. "you and me look good together".. do u all think about this as much as I do?? I look at how I look with someone either in a pic or a mirror.. and i imagine how we are seen.. I think I would look good with a few people.. but it would have to be someone "special"

6 Dearjohn

Really nice song.. I love how it starts with the gurl talkin and getting ready.. that she notices the "Dear John" letter.. such and sad song.. sung so well.. this shit sounds great.. i would love to hear this live.. I saw him live this past summer while he was sick.. and he still sounded great.. back to the song.. he speaks on how he just knows its time to keep it moving and no time to look back... how would you feel if you happen to find this in the middle of you regular day.. your regular work week.. or on your way to the gym or to pick up the kids.. that will mess a niggas day up forreal.. he gets right to the point.. and says goodbye.. the songs ends with her on his voice mail.. great song.. great story ::message erased::

7 Loveofmylife

Sounds great when it open.. nice live band sound.. the song isnt your traditional "love of my life" song.. this is from the point of after things arent good.. this is after the "reflection" period.. after you get your heads out the cloud and get back grounded.. when u see that somethings are so important with out the one with you.. without the one to share it with... what do you do when u lost love and then u notice that what u lost is what u wanted?? do you humbly try to come back.. or do you take a different approach?? are you apologetic? do u ever feel as if you deserve a second chance?? how do u show someone that they are the love of your life?? how can they take you serious after what happened in the past??
Rhetorical right?? well these are my questions when listening.. the song is beautiful.. then it mixes right into one of my other favorites on the cd..

8 Moneyright

This is something that EVERY real nigga will relate too.. its in my nature to want to take care of the one who I want.. i wanna take them out.. i wanna stay in with them.. i wanna buy stuff for them.. i wanna go shoppin.. but i gotta get my money right first.. I got it in my heart.. just not in my pocket just yet.. feel me?? how much is worth that I want to do it.. but I just dont have the means for it?? I love it when the gurl understands that Ima do what I can... and respect me even when me money might run out.. one who knows that on an "off pay week".. we might just sit in the house and watch a few movies.. but that thursday after I get paid, we goin to the movies babe, and u can get that big bucket of popcorn and that red and blue icee that Ima drive half of.. I promise..

9 Someone

You know he had to hit us with the power ballad that we would expect from him, well this is it.. this the song that you zone out... or at least I do.. we is speakin my words.. he talks about how he wants someone who doesnt want him bc of who he is.. but for what he is.. someone who is self confident and has confindce in her lover.. a strong friendship.. someone who trust, believes, wants to be lead but can take control, and will build her man up.. gotdammit if that aint a real woman, then I dont kno what is.. I pray God is making this gurl for me.. cuz im being so picky til I see it.. we always have someone in our mind who we would love to be this someone.. someone who we would just wish would flip the switch in their brain to see how "meant to be" you and them are.. til then, should we keep it moving and stick it out? How do u know which one is your someone? I wish my "someone" could see me, my intentions, potential and love. Man, this song is so strong.. this some ol wedding reception, slow dance song.. dont catch me on the floor on this one.. i might sing to you.. can you picture me with someone?? yes, me. The forever single guy. How do you picture my "someone"??

10 Iwannabe

I thought this was weird to be following "someone" but its still hot.. this seem like a Carl Thomas song.. the feel of it.. the sound and everything.. like you on a island with some breezy ass cream linen pants on with a coconut drink or something.. the words are really nice tho.. very poetic to me..

11 sobeautiful

This is another one of those songs.. he aint just got one on the CD.. this is one of those like "someone".. this to me is like a valentines day song... you telling her how beautiful she is.. and how she is the best thing to happen to you in your life.. it sounds a lil different bc of the tone he is singing it.. but its a nice change up.. i feel that this should be played for your gurl everyday.. i feel that in a healthy relationship.. she should know that your still attracted to her everyday you see her.. she should know it without u even sayin.. she should see it in your eyes.. look at her like you want her..

12 Radio

We all know this.. this nothing like the rest of the cd.. not that that is bad.. but i like the finished product..

I looooooooooooooooooove this cd...
on constant repeat my niggas...

Pussy Rate

Growing up as a black male.. your peers always tell you ways to make your "pussy rate" go up... I will try to define "pussy rate" as much as I can

Pussy Rate - Noun - an imaginary chart that calculates how much vagina you can get that changes when u acquire certain qualities, items, history or any other factors that will make you more or less attractive to the female gender to make her want or not to want to give you the pussy..

Some tanglie factors that we as men believe that can make our pussy rate go up are:
Money
Clothes
Cars
Muscles
Tattoos
Houses
Cologne



Niggas do the things that niggas do.. just to get more pussy.. Sorry for using such a strong word to some but it gets the point across..
If we could get the chick that we wanted, while being broke, never needed no money, no cars or job.. we wouldnt do shit..

Ladies.. think of a man that u like..
Picture him in your head..
you see the last thing he wore when he saw you? or maybe what did he wear the 1st time yall went together somewhere? how did he smell? when yall went some where.. did u pay? How is his place? is it comfortable? how does the bed feel?? how is his hair when u see him?

All of these things.. we know yall pay attention too.. so we try to do all the right things to make the rate go up..

All our lives we are taught how to act, what to say, how to walk, and everything to make us be attractive to the one that we want.. when is it too much??

I mean damn... do i have to do allll this shit just for someone to like me? The thing that got me thinkin like this is when I was lookin thru some of the adds in the newspaper with one of my older niggas.. and we was lookin at the home theatre section.. he was like..

"Nigga.. you need your house laidout like this.. get you the 54" flatscreen.. get you some suede couches.. bose surround sound.. get your computer shit all upgraded.. some nice ass lamps.. and table with some nice shit on it.. and BAM! your rate is through the roof"

Im like damn.. i gotta do all of this.. just to get some?

People know that that aint even my goal.. I aint never just seeked out pussy.. as corny as it sounds.... I look for strong friendship that leads to that.. courtship.. stuff like that.. I like watching movies with a chick.. cooking and eating.. face to face conversations.. getting drunk.. laying with females who I like.. these are things that I want to happen BEFORE the act happens.. if the act happens before.. it kinda messes things up in my head.. but thats another blog...

I have always sort of been "anti pussy" rate on somethings.. I never wanted a really nice car bc i never wanted the reason why someone liked me was bc of my car.. I dont really like it when gurls just know me as DJDURL bc i dont like groupies.. I dont wear jewelry bc it bring the wrong attention.. The things that I do do tho are make sure my hair and shoes are clean when u see me.. maye i might smell good so that u remember it when u hug me.. I might even hug u a lil longer if i aint seen u in a minute.. cuz u like that..

but to me.. those are just factors of me.. I love shoes.. so i do it for me too.. and i gotta feel clean.. so I gotta keep me hair nice.. and if u knew me when I had braids.. you would never see me with my fro out.. I always had some fresh ass braids..

also.. if you knew me.. I aint never had a car that was just the SHIT.. me cutlass back in the day was jumpin.. but it got the wrong attention.. and it got broke into too much..so I always said fuck it..

Ive always had the inside pressure to lose weight bc gurls never want a fat dude.. their fantasy guys are TI, Chris Brown, Ludacris, Lloyd, Trey Songz blah blah blah.. I dont look like that.. and im cool with that.. we all cant look alike.. but Im sure, that mentally.. I can be attractive. I want someone to like me for anyways.. and thats the really thing I ever said..

I want you to remember how I make you feel when I leave you more than remember how I look when Im with you..

I want to be the one who makes you happy and smile.. the one who makes you laugh.. the one who listens and doesnt talk about himself so much.. the one who doesnt constantly look in the mirror at hisself.. not the one who is in the mirror more than you.. I want you to be the pretty one.. just let me be the fresh one... cool??

Is it arrogance to not want to be like every other nigga?? Do I act too good bc I dont feel like i gotta do certain things and I WONT do certain things just to get someone to like me or let me fuck? I dont wanna go thru hoops and change everything about DARRELL, just to get you.. I wanna be ME with YOU.. will you let me be that or do I gotta be him??

What u Think???



PS.. I would love to remake these pix... they sexy right???

Every Word in This Blog is Gonna Be About U!!!

I wrote this in 2006 on my myspace blog.. and it still makes sense.. so i copied and pasted for those who havent read it..

"YOU"

So... 2006 has been a hell of a year so far... and it aint over...all of the memories of this year would be a great movie... think of where you were last year this time... think of the love that has turned to hate.. and the strangers that have turned into friends.. and old friends that have turned in to better friends... all of these things have happened for a reason...

Love yourself.. b/c you cant love no one unless you do... deal with your problems and ask for help sometimes... love those who love you back.. and when they show their love.. dont turn your back.. dont change...

You are a beautiful person.. inside and out.. and some see it.. but many overlook it... but keep growing... keep goin... one day that one person will open their eyes... Look in the mirror and love what ur lookin at... someone else out there does... so why dont you??

Think of who you were around this time last year.. and see what u have learned in the past 365... things aint always what they seem... but dont let that hold you back... dont let what one person has done to you keep you from someone who will right all the wrongs...

Love yourself and fulfill your goals.. finish what u have started.. use your talents and do what u love... finish school... get a job you actually like.. get money.. hang around postitive people who are movin forward and love those who have shown love back...

You are not alone... look at all the people who tihnk highly of you... give them a chance... open up... say what you feel... and mean what u say... sometimes conflict will come but you live and you learn... you gettin older now... so you are learning a lot... your on your own.. no one to fall back on.. and your makin it.. and you still got your family... and your loved ones... so be happy.. and learn something everyday... and if they dont notice how special you are... FUCK EM.. haha...

Love, Yourself