Lovers and bestFriends

Started on May9th:
In our constant search for the right one... how do we kno the one when we see it? We all have our own list of what our nearest to perfect match would be.. right? I kno i do and damn near always have.. i have the ones that i have as interest.. and ones that i just want around my life to help and coach and see me grow... the two i seperate as "Lovers" and "Bestfriends". Both of the two i always wanna be around.. Ive always been more cool with women more than men.. so ive always had a few bestfriends on deck since middle school.. The main thing that was the difference was the Lovers were the ones that i was more emotionally and physically involved with..

Bestfriends, were the ones who kept me mentally intrigued, most are the real smart girls who usually care the most about me.. my bestfriends are really territorial.. they genuinely care for me from the inside out.. they care about how im feeling today.. how my family is.. when we gonna kick it and get drunk.. all the good things..

The lovers are usually the ones i get blinded by infactuation with.. not always the best for me but i never see it bc they show me that lil bit of attention that my bestfriends dont.. b/c these gurls are attracted to me.. bestfriend isnt.. she just loves me.. the lover wants me.. sometimes u want to be wanted.. and thats what kept me there.. blinded by that i constantly got my feelings hurt.. which is when my bestfriends put the pieces back together and bring me back up to the level i need to be...

Bestfriend is always the one tellin you.. "she aint shit.. she just like u cuz u DJ DURL, i love Darrell, she dont even kno the real you"... then i hit her with the beatbox and tell her she trippin.. cuz remember.. im blinded.. cuz this gurl fits what i want in a chick:

Attractive, Attentive to me, Understands me, is honest with me, and is about something..

Or so i thought.. when them true colors show.. my bestfriend is always there for me.. telling me i told u so, and telling me how much she hate that bitch and that she better not see her on the streets... yadda yadda.. soundin like my crazy ass sister.. but with all of this knowledge of what is good for me.. why isnt the bestfriend the one?? why is the bestfriend being unnoticed as the X-factor that makes things better.. not sayin a chick will ever make me better.. but it would be a plus to have one in the equation.. feel me?



These thoughts have been in my thoughts lately.. i have a few bestfriends.. all of which i love very much.. all have been there for me at different times in my life and have been like a backbrace.. and keepin my head up like i got a nose bleed or something. My bestfriends give me all the confidence and swag that makes me who i am forreal.. my BFs tell me how much of a good person i am and how stupid chix are for not seeing it and keepin it.. wouldnt they be in the same catergory? I feel as if im rambling.. but I think my bestfriends are the prototypes of some of the strongest women i know.. all have had their struggle with the wrong men and are now on the right path and keepin it moving.. they are taking care of themselves and their babies if they have one.. they are not ur typical Dayton chix.. these chix are what i want in a woman...



Hence the situation, when is it ok to like your bestfriend? I mean you already love them, you already know them and their fam, you already know their favorite color, drink, meal and how they want their wedding to be... so why not?? Whats holding you both back? You two are so close, why not be close? you dont want no one to hurt the other, and you know that you wouldn't, so why not? What is the potential harm in "connecting" with your bestfriend? Why cant that just be a better friend, better than you ever thought? Do act like you never looked at her when she bends over... Dont act like you do look at him when he's driving and your in the passenger seat... Dont act like you do say "who is that bitch?" when some chick comes and gives him a hug when yall both out together as "bestfriends". "Bestfriends", is this your "just in case" person, is this who you finally choose when you are too lonely, and not getting the looks like you use too? Is this the person that you "might as well" mess with? Think of your opposite sex bestfriend, how would you feel if you asked them how they about you... and they say "I liked you from the begining.."? Would that scare you? would you be ashamed bc now you ex would tell you, "I told you so". Because... who really trusts their partners bestfriend of the opposite sex? I wouldnt. Would you embark on that? Would this mess up all that you built? or will this be the cherry on the top? A lot of questions right?

Thinking of all of this, what if you do explain how much you do love and like your bestfriend, and they actually feel the same... what do you do next? You can't call them bestfriend no more can you? Aint nothing that will take away a sexy moment than being called "Bestfriend" instead of your real name.. Are you losing a bestfriend while gaining a companion? Who do you tell your personal problems to now, you would usually tell them about your daily problems, problems with the opposite sex and etc. You can't do that no more?? What if things dont work? Yall just supposed to act like this never happened? You cant do that

With all of these words... statements.. and questions.. what would you do? Dive in and say fuck it? Or say hell nah? Let me know..