Missing...

Man.. just made this good ass mix (at least I think so.. http://urgurlsfavoritedj.podomatic.com/) with some good ass RnB.. some good ass songs that will get u in that good mood to call someone up for some conversation or some company..

Well, it kinda got me there too.. as much as I dont allow myself to get there.. it almost did.. I aint the type to lead people, so I aint bout to act like I like someone, or make myself like someone just bc no one is around me now..

No, im not LONELY, i would never say that.. even if i was lonely, I still wouldnt say it.. but im not tho... honestly but sometimes the emotions feel like they are missing some times..

Like today I was watching Keri Hilsons lil video for "Make Love" and I thought it was well shot.. the video shows emotions and anticipation. I remember the days where I would be at work, aticipating the hour for me to leave.. to go see who ever it was that was textin me all day and thinking about me when I aint around..

but nowadays, attachments are nonexistant.. I dont look forward to seein no one. I dont really look forward to hearin from no one.. theres no consistancy in that department.. Im not trippin tho..

Here's some things I miss tho:
- "I'll be there in a minute" (rather its me sayin that or them..)
- A kiss goodbye given on the forehead in the morning before I go to work
- this text "What u want me to cook for dinner?"
- Being at the club, and knowing I wont be standing by myself when the slow songs come on..
- Movie-night Sundays
- Eye contact from across ANY room..
- Inside jokes.
- Current slow songs having meaning
-"My mom invited you to have dinner with us tonight"
- "Can you come check my oil, I dont know what to look for" (sometime you wanna like a man)
- "I just came from the store and I got your favorite ________"

But with all of these things, there are so many things I DONT miss like:
-"Why are you always mixing?"
- Finding my phone in someone elses hand..
- "I know she like you, why else would she be smiling when she see you?" (people cant be nice?)
- "You got allll the bitches, you're the 'gurls favorite DJ' "
- "Where U At?", i hate it when that the first thing a gurl asks.. can I get a hello?
- Not being able to wind down by myself sometimes.. sometimes you just wanna be alone without being bothered..


The negatives outweigh the positives to me sometimes.. esp when my focus shouldnt be trying to take care of someone, it should be taking care of me.. It sounds selfish, but I still have never met a WOMAN try to help me get to the next level of whatever Im focused on if it aint her... Chavi has really been the only one who has helped... she just wasnt around long enough.. Other than her, no female has tried to get me to a better position in my job or wanted me to mix more so I could get more exposure or whatever with my music..

That being said, I gotta stay focused on me.. I didnt stay in school, so other than my job, I dont have nothing else to fall back on for support.. I gotta take care of me.. but sometimes it feels as if something is missing.. I fall into those thoughts, then I soon snap out of it... bc who is really out here on my side? No one but me..

Man, yall dont know what these blogs have done for me internally.. usually once I take the time to type all of these things out.. the emotions fade.. without blogging.. they stay bottled in.. i wish I could blog about everything like this so I could let everything out.. Im still salty that most of yall aint comment on my last blog tho.. I know I had yall puzzled and shit. Thats why I havent blogged too much lately.. cuz I wanted that last one to marinate on yall.. but yall just slept on it..

Well goodnight blog family.. leave me some comments sometimes.. let me know I aint just speakin to myself..

H.E.R.

When I see her.. I stare..
I get lost in the moment..
I forget im here.. I just know that she is there..
When she speaks to me.. I zone
I look for her in traffic
I wait for her to message me, or text my phone
She's the only one I see in a crowd
No sounds, no noise..
As quiet as its kept, my emotions scream loud..
A nigga too old for a crush...
Its more like an interest.. a liking
Why am I looking in the mirror? Wheres my brush?
Durl, You gotta shake this off..
She just a lady, so what if shes nice
My nigga, you starting to sound soft
She works, goes to school, and no BM
Shes the one to know
Brah, Dont lose your swag, U cant be OD'n
18nUp clubs, you will never find her.
She swagged on me when our path crossed
Its stuck in my head, I dont need a reminder
Exhale when Im near her, I smile when I see her
She makes these other gurls look like randoms
Trying hard to match, but they couldnt be her
Success to her, is more than wealth
She wont need you to hold her down,
You can tell by the way she carries herself

So let me explain:
When I see her, I stare, I get lost in moment is like.. when u see someone and you are just in stuck mode... you could be at work folding clothes, in the middle of a conversation and when u see that person.. its over for whatever u was doin til you get done zoning out..
When we do speak, i zone in..no one else matters during those moments.. and when she aint around, I look for her when Im driving, hoping Ill bump into her in traffic maybe, or at the mall or something..
Or sometimes I hope she might send me a message through myspace or facebook or even a message through someone.. u know like "So&so tols me to tell you that she said hi"... that would be the shit right?
Or maybe one day, Ima just get a random text from her, and she gonna be like, "What u doing this weekend?" and ima just play it cool :)
When she happens to be around, shes all I see or pay attention to
No sounds can be heard.. bc your mind and thoughts have taken over.. whatever that person in front of you is sayin, aint being heard or taken in.. u paying attention to "them".. that "one"
And Im not an emotionally expressive person, but you can see my happiness when she comes around..
Im too old for crushes.. I would just sayin that maybe I got my eye on someone, or someone has the qualities that I would look for in someone.. but why is that when I see her.. Im checkin myself, making sure everything right, my taper is together, my shoes is clean, stuff like that..
All this extra shit just aint me and I notice it, so I have my internal dialog and I tell myself to chill, shake it off, dont lose your cool.. she just a lady, like youre a man.. dont put her on no pedestal
She gets it in on a mature level, she takes classes, got her a job, and following her dreams and got plans to make it.. and she aint no ones Babymomma.. ::thumbs up::
She the type of chick that got good connect to whatever you might need, shes the one to know
With all of these qualities, I gotta see and remember that I obtain these too.. dont go in too deep or too hard.. dont OD ((Overdose... ie Go too hard))
You would never see her in these young clubs, being hot, or unladylike.. you gotta respect that..
And when I last seen her, her whole AURA just swagged on me.. to the point of remembering what she wore, and even when she just be on some regular, she still swaggin..
When I see her, I smile, its a natural reaction, and my bad days dont even matter when she comes around.. it allows me to exhale a lil bit.. You need someone who can have that affect you.. soft of like an umbrella on a rainy day..
Then when these chicks start seeing what Im seein, they try to imitate.. they might even act as they are cool, just to bite.. but REAL recognize real tho.. so imitations wont last..
Success for her would to be to reach a higher level or wherever she is.. whether its understanding, goals, or relationship with God.. how sexy is that tho?
She doesnt need a man to carry her, do for her, make her or break her.. she carries her ownself.. true meaning of independence..

So you like that way I flipped this right?? A nigga dont be getting all Poetic Justice like that on yall do I?? Well I had to do it.. I also want you to ponder on my subject too.. heres the questions that Ima leave you with:

Is this a real person??

Is this about a few females just balled into one??

Is this all made up??

Is this all one big metaphor about my love for music??

Is this my letter to someone that I secretly admire, and Ill just let them know in secret??

Is this really about me?? From a females point of view, but still in my own words????

What does H.E.R. stand for, if anything?

What U Think??

DJ DURL X The Dream X Podcast

http://urgurlsfavoritedj.podomatic.com/
Thats the link.. I dont know how to add the player just yet.. bare with me..
but go there and bookmark it.. so u can be up on things..


Man... You knew it had to be coming soon.. I had to do a DREAM mix.. thats my nigga.. I was just waitin for the 2nd cd to leak before i did it..

If youre a fan like me, you will def be feelin these songs.. I mixed up his songs that he made, was featured on or wrote.. So go ahead and listen..
Ill be makin Podcast Every week.. and they are availible for download..


...look what was made..

Real Recognize.....

Someone gave me a special spotlight.. so ima link you to it..
click here..

Aint I just so special??? haaaa.. i am aint i...

thanks Shay for the spotlight.. and for using my favorite color..
She is another blogger for u to follow..
beshaybe.com
she is a picture takin, sepia using, blog commenting, lip gloss carrying, neo soul loving, gameface wearin, poetry readin, poll making, "rockin that shit" ass female...

go see...

Short Answer...

Yup..
hhhmmmm...
ok...
busy..
ima hit you right back...
ok
ohhhh...

When it gets to this point.. Im just not feeling it..
if this is what u hear often..im prolly not feeling it right now..
My single life keep me observent... and im watching everyone most of the time..
i see cycles.. this is why i never talk to a person quickly..
this is why I usually know someone for a year before I get close to them..
I see these gurls, that have liked me.. try to talk to me.. but i move too slow for them...
everyone always has a second option.. i know this.. so I never feel as if im the only one..
So go ahead.. run fast into that relationship with dude sayin what u wanna hear..
Im never gonna be that guy.. sorry.. well im not sorry..
If im not gonna do it when...no no.. if we get together.. so why front early..
thats not me..
respect it.. or keep it movin...
Flat out..
So when I see these gurls.. go off with dudes that they dont know..
I smirk..
I keep lookin forward.. as always...
cuz i dont wait around..
u gonna have to catch up..
I see the early warning signs of the quick break up bout to come..
I feel that the text messages are bout to start comin back...
bc we both know that when they start "talking" to dude... the texts stop..
thats fine.
So when they try to come back.. they get the SHORT ANSWERs..
Its just s0 annoying..
not sayin just bc they wanna talk again, means that they want me again..
but can a nigga get some consistency...
or maybe they are being consistent... their actions are repeating..
so that is consistant.. but im cool on that...
I just think its silly.
I study people like books..
if theres something that u do that I dont like.. i make sure i never do it..
Thats why i dont just text people when Im bored..
I try to consistantly stay in touch with the few people that I want around..
It kinda sux when u get a text from someone, and u know its just bc they went through their phone list...
Spare me...
I'd rather u not...
::exhales::
its almost summer time.. so all these lonely ass chicks are coming out..
they are freshly single and tryna mingle..
bc please believe.. these niggas is breakin up with they chix left and right..
Petty arguments are necessities for this season..
So i gotta be the "fall boy"?
::shakes head::
Before I get any deeper, more upset or any more specific..
ima end this...


This was my face while typin this..
u cant tell??

The One That Got AWAY..

So my friend Erin.. I love her to death.. she tried to put me on blast on her facebook status and on her blog..
it was in a nice way tho.. but like I told her, no one I know knows her.. so shit.. why not put her on blast where she put me on blast...

This is her.. i would tell you our story.. but i think she could tell you better..
if youre interested.. follow this link.. and learn a little about my past..

Learn something??
Good..

Well here is another one.. partially about you..
i can only say so much about me.. people are usually defined but perception.. so this will show u a lil bit about how people feel or have felt about me..
so this is one from Chavi.. we have had our ups and downs.. and im glad our downs have came back up...


so she how she has felt.. click here

If anyone else blogged about me.. i wouldve put them on here too.. but i havent noticed any other one...

but these 2 ladies have their own blogs.. follow them..
you know if i follow them, they gotta be interesting...

My Dilemma

::that word just looks wrong everytime i spell it:: anyways..

here one of my minor dilemmas...

So im in a new city.. well i guess it aint new no more after a year and a half right? well i get asked often:

So who are u talkin to these days?

My answer is: No One..

They then ask: why? not or that make the "whatever nigga" face... you know the face people make when they put their lips to the side..

My answer be that all I see is hood star's (star is rats backwards) or gurls thats too boogi (sp*) or they like light skinned dudes.. so im outta luck..

so they ask me where do i be at.. my answer is that im always at work.. I really wouldnt date a chick thats a regular Deveroes shopper.. thats really not a chick for me.. we dont even have enuff gurls stuff for a chick to be a regular shopper unless she got a lil kid.. or a nigga..

then when i go out.. its usually to the Lobby.. them old chicks be cool.. but im cool on they drunk asses.. I only go there bc i aint gotta dress up.. I dont be feeling like goin through the whole "finding something that will keep me from being stopped at the door" thing.. so I like to good comfortable..


This is what I call comfortable.. air maxes.. jordans, a hat whatever..

Then if i do happen to go to the places where I gotta dress up, then these chicks are acting too stuck up just because they gotta damn dress on.. thats fine.. do u boo.. im just cool on that extra-ness..

Where do u find a real ass person?? I mean, Im at work all the time.. a relationship with someone I work with wouldnt work.. esp with me being the boss..
When would someone recognize the realness in someone? Why is it that gurls recognize the good in me after I stop messing with them? Why is it that I see the same chicks messing with the same weak niggas? They never seem to look for something for the long run.. they look at the appearance and think that will be enough to keep them happy...
I dont understand why gurls havent smarten up.. even my smartest female friends be on some dumb shit every now and then... every last one of them.. I see it. I dont really say much about it to them any more.. i mean we all know.. no need for me to say "I told you so"

I aint gonna act like Im the solution to every womans man problems but I do know that I will be one special lady's solution tho.. who that is.. i dont know.. God knows.. and I hope she reads my blog.. or at least will read it later in life so she will know more about me than previous chicks..

Im just about ready tho.. I got a few more things to do.. but im almost there.. when I do find that one.. all ima hear in my head is Frankie Beverly & Maze - Happy Feeling and ima do my Happy Dance..


haaaaa....

Kill The DJ

Now every DJ has his complaints given to him when he makes his drops
(drops are when a DJ says his name of nickname on a mix cd in the middle of a song)
and there aint nothin worse than bein in a good groove on one of your favorite RnB mixes and the dammit DJ yells and screams over your favorite part and fucks up the whole mood.. he some examples

Mood Muzak from jeff on Vimeo.

Now if you got some DJ DURL mixes.. I aint that bad.. youll hear me or a female voice say my name but ill be damned if i make all the noises that DJ AIRHORN made...
shit..
thatll make me throw a mix cd away..
But i thought it was funny and it hit home due to complaints that I get..

My Sunday Playlist..

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My Top 10 Favorite Songs of ALL TIME

This was a note that my nigga put up on facebook.. and i had to post mine..
but i have to always tell stories behind my choices.. its always some type of memory or something connected.. I dont have more favorites but these came to my head the quickest..

If you know me know me.. you will know prolly 3 off the bat..

here it goes..

1. Notorious BIG - One More Chance
I mean damn.. this song is the shit.. its classic, raw, funny and witty.. its some real nigga shit.. go a good ass beat.. you can hear this any night, at any bar, and you will see everyone start groovin... ((did i just say "groovin"?.. im soo old now))

2. Jay Z - Song Cry
This song is the ultimate shit.. whenever this is played.. all of the guys know it word for word.. every dude can relate.. every female can relate to treating a guy good and them dogging them and then becoming the "bad gurl" and i had a situation that was like verse 3.. in my player days, i was messing with this chick.. and i had other gurls on the side.. but they were gurls she didnt know.. but she turned around and started messing with a dude that i grew up.. "You dont get a nigga back like that".. the sample and the verses are pure poetry..

3 Alexander O'Neal - If you Were Here Tonight
This is one of my all time favorite slow jams.. yes.. i said "jams" with my old ass.. this shit si so smooth..ive already analyzed it in a previous blog.. go read..

4. Art of Noise - Moment of Love
This beat is crazy.. flat out.. whenever someone samples it, its usually a hit (ie Lloyd - One for Me). I used to her this on the Quiet Fire on U92 and be AMPED.. do u hear me?? this is everyones song..

5. Mista - Black Berry Mollasses
Classic song that just brings me back to my carefree early teen years.. when me and my cousin used to just be outside all day.. finding whatever to get into.. this was one of those FLY CITY songs.. this was my SHITTTTT

Check out Bobby V with the old Rodmans on that u had to tie up from the sides..

6. Brandy - Broken Hearted
I had Brandy's first TAPE.. not cd.. tape nigga.. and this song was on repeat.. I loved brandy.. I had a stupid crush on her "Deer-eyed" lookin ass.. and this song got me everytime.. i used to lay on the ground in my room on my stomach and just play this over and over.. and sing..

7. Prince - Lets Go Crazy
This was a strong toss up between this song and Purple Rain.. both are GREAT.. but this one will get me CRUNKKK.. so i had to choose this.. I love this because of its spiritual double meaning.. if you didnt know.. "de-elevator" is the devil and the "Top Floor" is Heaven.. he speaks on how u can like the devil bring you down in your search for your higher level.. i love it.. here a video of him performing this at the famous 1st avenue



8. The Deele - 2 Occasions

Man.. this song is the biggest game u could lay on someone.. this is such a nice song.. great beat and the voices are the shit on here too.. i had to post this video to show u how throwback these niggas were.. LA Reid was so serious on those drum.. Babyface had so much swag.. them other two dudes.. no words for them.. except for, does dude have a broach on?


9. Kanye & Nas - We Major
The beat.. the collab.. the lyrics, and the timing.. were perfect

10. Jason Weaver - Love Ambition
My ULTIMATE shit.. my nigga was singing.. and what did he know about "Up and Down, Baby" at that age.. i wasnt allowed to sing that when it came out.. this still my shit.. if you have my mixes.. you would know..