Keep It Movin...

Blogging really helps me speak, when I usually wouldnt.. I dont really talk much.. everyone knows that... the only time i really speak is at work... when I have the Deveroes uniform I have to speak, I have to be "on". Most of the time, my thoughts stay inside... so hopefully, blogging will be my outlet for you to get inside my head a lil bit..
For the few of you that actually follow my two blogs.. this blog is more personal.. more me.. even though its title "DJ DURL", its mostly Darrell talking.. This DJDURL person only comes out on cds and mixtapes.. theres no DJDURL persona.
So this is called "keep it movin" bc I've been notified by my employer, for the 2nd year in a row, that they want me to relocate to another city. This time its Indianapolis. Yeah, outside of Ohio... Brand new to me.. New land, new area code, new fashion, new sports teams, new capitol and new capital.. however way you wanna see it.
Personally, I don't want to do it. Nope, not at all.. I'm cool. I made it outta Dayton, which was my goal. I did that. My parents didnt even do that. I make more than my dad... thats not good.. but its the truth.. Im in control over a mutlimillion dollar store and Im running it like a pro in my rookie season.. I should be the Rookie Of the Year.. esp now that my nigga Aaron quit... cuz he def had that on lock.. but I feel like im the man now.. I feel as if Im the "go-to-guy", but some might think that Im the "Get-shitted-on-guy" bc Im the one they call on when stores arent doing too good.. Im the one who has to recover it.. Well, shit.. I gets it done though.
Deveroes up here was losing heavily when I got here.. I brought energy, youth, life and sense of humor to the store and the city. I brought shoe and clothing knowledge to my workers.. I brought a whole new vocab to the city.. niggas in Columbus know what BURGERs are b/c of me.. I did that.. I like this city.. I would LOVE this city if I loved the people.. I dont love them yet.. I love a few.. but collectively.. no.. The city is nice, its always moving.. and theres things to do and places to go.. something Im not used to from my city. I have made a few bonds and a few friends that Im going to miss up here.. ((Ima miss you Roniquia :(... )) but thinking forward in life.. I might need to make this move.

As a youngin.. I always wanted to get a job where I traveled.. welll.. here it is.. in a sense.. I always wanted to get outta Dayton... did that.. I got my music playin in 15 stores.. 5 cities and 3 states.. thats a lot.. but I could be doing more.. I could be touching more people.. i could be affecting more peoples lives.. I have tried to find reasons why im getting chose.. I think its because Im single and childless.. but I could reverse this and say that this could be the reason why God has kept me single and childless for so long.. So I can keep it moving with no strings attached.. not saying that I dont have any strings bc I do.. I love my bestfriends.. my God daughter.. my Deveroes people who I will be further from.. and just my piece of mind and havin stability...

Like I said before.. I dont talk much.. so youre saying that once again, I have to show a whole new city who I am, where I came from and what I stand for... so once again.. I got to make new friends.. and I promise it take you to be with someone for 4 whole seasons to see if they are really your friend.. you need to know how people act when the weather change.. so I gotta go another whole year without having any friends close to me... I dont trust people.. so Im dreading how my winter is going to be... I have made a few good connections here that I wanted to build on and see how things ended.. but also.. on the other hand.. Im still single.. I havent found no ones worth quitting my job over and signing a 2 yrs lease for or anything close to that... so why not?
truthfully.. Im scared.. Im nervous.. and i just want to know that everything will be alright..
Gods Got Me though..

My Rant on Females and Relationships..

People ask me... "why dont u have a girlfriend?", "how is it that your 26, with no kids?"
You would start to wonder, what's wrong with him? Is he crazy behind doors? Is he abusive, does he cheat? What the hell is the problem?

While watching "Tyra" ((No homo)) her subject is "What Men Really Want".. mind u, this is a female show... Men can only tell you how men feel. I hear on the show about how women get some pissed off at their men because they don't notice the simple things, or don't notice the details. Which I won't argue with. Example. Theres this chick that I used to be real cool with last year.. we used to work together.. but I moved.. and she lived with her babydaddy anyways.. but I always called her my babymomma.. Her gripe in her relationship was that he never paid as much attention to her as I did.. I would rub her belly when she was around me.. speak to her son thru the belly... I noticed her hair cut.. and the fact that she got it colored.. she said it had been like that for a week.. and her BD hasnt even noticed or said nothing about it... This struck me unusual. But a way that I kinda figured that out is when I'm at work, and we get visits from our bosses.. they notice the details of what is wrong in my store that I walk past everyday... im in this store everyday and I never noticed how many lights I have that arent working... What sense does that make? Not to many.. but it does make sense to me.
I hear about how women have the problem of when they talk on the phn with the one they like.. the conversation changes through out the months.. When speaking daily, how can u have sooo much to say everyday...
Here is my problem.. I dont talk that much.. I have communication problems.. I really dont want to talk all the time.. I would rather have face to face interaction than over the phone. I also need my time. I want to be able to miss someone.. its already hard for me to miss people.. but if you give me a chance to, then that will keep things going..
I know I have mostly female readers.. so I think that this will also help with insight in the mind of many males.. or even if one of my readers are trying to get closer to me.. this will also help ::wink::

My main answer for when someone ask me why dont I have a girlfriend is "All the gurls I know have a problem".
Let me be specific on some of my problems without being too specific. I wont say names.. but youll know if Im speaking on you..
-one gurl has too much going on outside of us that keeps her mind away from the focus of whats ahead.. too many things in the past blind her from seeing how the future could be, rather it be our past friendship, money issues, or whatever.. My heart is one that wants to help. I want to make an impact on everyones life that I love.. if i feel that I cant help, I feel like Im not good enough. Sometimes you gotta let people go through their "thing" to be able to see the light.. Should I wait? Why? I'm a good ass dude..

-one gurl is too young to me. I feel that for someone to relate to me, that have to have some type of experience to under stand me and my possible struggles.. I dont feel as if someone who still lives at home can fully understand me and why I work so hard to do what I gotta do.. Sounds wrong a lil bit.. but Im so far past meeting someones parents just to go to the movies with them... feel me? I know when I was younger... I had a few experiences I had to get under my belt.. before I even knew what "ready" looked like..

-one gurl is still stuck on the 1st babydaddy.. how can u allow yourself to move forward with someone new if their past is right with them in every conversation? I dont want to think about dude.. and I wish they wouldnt either.. feel me? that can drive someone away..

-Another one, I already messed with. I always felt like we were never done.. I also felt like I was misunderstood and I never feel like i have to explain myself but I know now that out of respect, you need to let the other person know your thoughts and motives.. let think know how u work on the inside.. i never allowed them to know that.. and with that happening.. they bounced.. and had another family.. like that ::snaps::
Now how can I go back with someone who had something with someone else that they couldda had with me if they were just a bit more patient? Just a question..

-And then like always.. the ones that I do be feeling, show no interest.. no feelings or nothing in that way.. people that I see go through bullshit situations with bullshit niggas.. and I sit back and be like "if u were with me.. you would go thru this...". But everyone go through this.. You feel as if you could just get close to that person.. that 1 person.. that everything will be right..

Please believe me.. that aint always true.. I've gotten close to a few of the ones that I used to watch from the sidelines.. and Ill be gotdammit if they aint nothing like I thought they would be... You see them in such this beautiful light.. and when you feel as if the planets just so happened to be in all the right spots.. and the sun shine on you at the right time..and they actually like you back.. you think that this bout to be it.. this might be the one.. WRONG.. well atleast for me..

Im starting to feel as if I'm too picky.. maybe Im too work minded.. maybe I focus on music too much.. maybe Im too stubborn.. Oh well.. ILL BE DAT

At this point in my blog.. I dont even think Im still on subject.. but oh well.. this is my shit anyways.. Im just speak on what I think..

This is how I picture a chick for me..
-Fashionable.. one that will make me be like.. "where u get that from and who u bout to go see in it?" one where I aint gotta worry about what she bout to wear when I pick her up for us to go somewhere.. One that gets me hip to the new shit.. one that knows what "I" look good in..

-Organized.. Im not so organized my damn self.. so I would want someone who is the "plus" where i am a "minus"... help me get to the point of where I need to be..

-Polished.. I need to know that when I aint around.. she will still be a good representative of me.. not too loud.. but not a push over.. one that aint gotta be at all the parties, drinkin all the goose, and showing all of her tittes and ass.. feel me?

-Musiclover.. For obvious reasons.. but you aint got to be in love with it, just enough that when I make a reference to someone in music, you wont be too lost.. someone who I can sing with when listening to old 90s music..

-Christian... of course.. need I say more about this? No..

-Confident.. I want you to know that if Im with you and for you.. you are the only one I see.. we all know there's a lot of chicks in my life.. but you can ask anyone who I dont talk to on that level that I keep it all plutonic.. if we aint talkin.. I aint talkin crazy to you.. thats just outta respect forreal.. I grew up around an older sister, my mom, my auties and my grandma.. so u know they taught me how to treat a woman.. esp one who deserves it.. Love yourself before you learn to love me.. and all the things you love about yourself, I will def love too..

Out of all these things, I might be able to excuse one thing off the list.. b/c I feel that I can work with that. BC i know I will never be everything on someones list.. and i would want someone to work with me.. shit.. i aint perfect.. I know Im stubborn, i got a belly, I snore, i forget things.. all type of bullshit.. but seeing through those things will lead you to a REAL man.. someone with goals and a future in mind. Someone who has made sure his whole life that he didnt take the path that all my friends did.. ive fell short a lot of times.. but ive succeeded a few times too.. I want someone to see my potential, to see OUR potential.. to see that I aint tryna be like no one you ever messed with.. as long as you treat me and yourself with respect.. we could be jumpin... you feel me?