7 Days Doesn't Make 1 Weak

A lil play on words on that one..

But in my quest for growth, I will be going through a few steps to find a better understanding of few things. In life, I've never wanted to seem to be addicted to anything that I couldn't put down. So rather it be drinking, clubbing, or whatever if I felt that it was controlling me more than I was controlling it, then I would make the decision to stop the action to show that I am (with God's help) stronger than any addiction.

So over these past months.. Ive had to drop my addictions to retail (clothes & shoes) and to the clubs. The first one I've actually had help with bc of the lack of money but I am still fighting it. The clubs are getting easier to stay out of now adays. I don't like being up all night, I don't like being drunk, or worrying about what I have to wear or who might see me. So those two have been kicked.

So now.. my next thing to drop is TWITTER (dun dun dunnnnn). Yeah, we all seemed to be addicted to this social network. Twitter has done a lot of good networking for me and has allowed me to keep in touch with my friends through out the days but it has also been a slight disstraction to a few things that should have priority over Twitter... So I have decided to take a week off and see how many more things I can get accomplished with all this extra time.

With this extra time, I plan to read my Bible more at work, read "Our Daily Bread", google other info that I might need to be productive to make more money, and to just get more things done around the house..

I think the biggest thing for me that Im going to miss about twitter is the instant information, but lately it aint be nothin be useless info and instant nonsense, so I will be ok without seeing everyone being #thirsty4 attention, people bragging on how my purp they smoke or whatever usless things I dont need to know.

SOoo.. in later weeks, I plan on fasting from a few other things that might have too much control over my life, I have to make sure the God doesnt feel as if I place anyone in front of him. When it gets to the point where I check Twitter before I thank God, then thats the issue.

I will be using my blog hopefully more this week so I can keep myself for using any of these social networks.. So we will see how this work..

Yoooo...!!!

Whats the word my peoples??
I apologize for the lack of posting.. and I will def spare you from the cliche line of "its been a long time, i shouldnt have left you.. without a dope post to read to" blazay... but if you know me and you follow me.. im sure you have really missed a beat... and key word of the last statement is "follow".. bc for me, TWITTER has killed the blogger...
I had planned to get on Twitter for it to be the place where I interject statements in between blogs, but info would come some quick on twitter that no news was new.. bc the same way I was recieving info, they were too.. The one thing I did slip on was my album reviews.. i did love making my albums reviews over there on Holiday Dreamin... I also slowed down on this blog bc I felt like I needed to cut my personal business out of being in the public.. you know they say that "too many chefs will spoil the soup"... so too many people were tryna help me with situations, and it wasnt exactly helping.. then, the more i would explain my feelings, the more some people would start catching feelings, thinking they KNEW me and they we getting to know me better... I dont mind u getting closer... but I dont want everyone to like me...
So I had to pump my brake on the issues I was releasing to yall... when I would vent.. someone would catch feelings.. if I stated my opinion.. someone would end up with their opinion on my opinion.. ITS MY OPINION!!!! (in my Lil wayne, "Its my cup" voice)

So I fell back on it... so that yall could fall back a lil.. i had to start speaking more general and less specific, bc people do have feelings involved, and as much as i try to ignore it, people do have their feelings wrapped in me. So I might began again.. but Im soooo private now adays.. that Ill just prolly continue with just general thoughts..

I love yall that read my thoughts tho and I do appreciate everyone who might take time outta their busy day to read my lil thought... I do love yalls opinions too.. It does help at times, but if u know me, ima remain me. AT ALL TIMES..

Well I really just did this bc my phone died while at work and I wasnt able to tweet, but my time at work should be winding down sooon so Im going wrap this up...

My Thoughts and Memories..

Man..
I know yall aint really known me since childhood.. so yall dont know how much MJ was a part of me in my childhood... when I heard about he dyin.. it never hit me.. I been in denial since thursday.. I wish yall could see my old pictures of me in my t-shirt that says BEAT IT.. that I wanted to wear everyday as a child.. I wish yall could see my brown leather jacket that I always connected to MJ.. Moms never bout me a Beat It jacket.. so I used what I had.. whenever a MJ video was abou to come on.. I used to always run to my closet.. put on that jacket and my church shoes and slide all across my moms kitchen acting like Mike..

My dad got old vcr tapes of me as a child doing all my MJ impression with the dance moves and every adlib he had on each song.. I studied his music, his videos and all his performances.. That was my idol.. I wanted anything I could get with his face, voice or name on it.. Music has been my life since birth, and who else has influence music as much as him?? No One...

These days since his passing I having had a chance to realyl sit and reflect and mourn.. I know it might seem like a lil too much or whatever.. but Im really affected by this.. Even more than when BIGGIE died.. i mean that was my nigga.. but Biggie was only around for like 3 yrs.. not hardly enough time as MJ.. Mike has ALWAYS been here.. even in his absence from the mainstream or main stage, he has still been the holder of some of my fondest childhood memories and some of my favorite songs... "Lady In MY Life" has always been a song I wanted played at my wedding..

Im usually good at masking and ignoring my feeling and emotions but I feel like I need to let this out.. and i hope blogging will help me move on.. I dont really get to speak about it in depth to no one bc no one around me now has been around me long enough to know how deep this is to me.. or everyone is too young to appreciate him as much as me.. I mean I was born in 1982. This is the year that THRILLER came out.. I knew how to do the dance in full prolly by the time most of yall were born.. This was the music my parents used to play to get me to go to sleep, do my homework, clean the house or whatever.. It has been the soundtrack to my life.. So to know that there will be no more of these songs, no more reunion tours, no more special appearances, no more nothin LIVE, it HURTS... like it HURTS like i lost a family member.

I wish he could have seen all of this love that he is getting. I hate it that his like decade or so has been so filled with turmoil and hate. I hate it that my love for humanitarian lessened while he was around.. It sound crazy but I feel like I failed him.. He has did nothin but live his life for us. Since his childhood, he has lived to making EVERYONE smile.

Ima speak on the day that he died:
Thursday, June 25th 2009
Of course I had to work at deveroes.. I had to do a open to close bc it was my assistants off day. So I was prepared for a long day. The past week had been really trying, shit the whole month has.. I been to court 2 times this month and got a ticket last saturday, and lately all of this has been gettin to me. Thursday equals pay day, so that should make thing better right? No. I was kinda broke due to gas prices, and bill payments. So I just knew that none of this money was really mine. I woke up to a text from TMobile tellin me that my bill was due. This being a $300+ bill due to my minute usage the month before. STRESS. This is my rent check. so thats $400. Stress. So I got a ticket as I said, so when I got to work Thursday, I checked to see how much it was gonna be. I read up on it, and i found out that its $220. Due by the 30th. Stress. Then when I got pulled over, they told me that I had a possible warrant.
So I called on that, after being on hold for 35 mins, I found out that I do. STRESS. I never received my paperwork for my last court date. Since it had past, I was isssued a bench warrant. STRESS. Then, Im at work, and my cashier is a NO CALL NO SHOW. more stress.. its gettin to me.. I dont have no help forreal. I made things that way kinda too bc my parents always seemed to play me when I was young that I asked for too much or that I wanted too much or that I was too spoiled. Like they didnt make me like that. So when that bein thrown in my face enough, Ive learned not to ask no one for nothing. So I do it all myself...
So the days was goin by and I just kept saying.. "I dont need no more bad news". I even tweeted "Is it against the law to get good news?"... we shit, it sure seems like it. So Im just workin my day away.. still holdin my stress in and around 530, i start gettin tweets about MJ goin into cardiac arrest and in the hospital.. I was like Damn.. he prolly workin too hard.. he will be ok.. I continue workin.. and start gettin tweet saying he died.. Im like YEAH RIGHT.. they just talkin to fast.. MJ aint bout to die.. So I keep workin.. and then my whole page of updates is sayin that he died... this cant be true.. I actually had to sit down.. and wait for some more updates..
Update after update kept saying that he was dead.. then some where sayin that the info was false.. so i was holdin onto that.. Then someone came in the store and said Katie Couric said he was dead.. i instantly said "Fuck Katie".. thats how I felt.. sorry.. I just told everyone that I didnt need any more bad news.. NOW THIS? So im salty.. but still not believing nothing.. I got two workers with me that dont understand what Im goin thru bc they were both born in 91.. It starts raining.. That in my head was my confirmation that he died.. I dont know why, but that made me know that it was true.. Then my dad calls me. He called my cell, I didnt pick up. He called my store phone, bc he knows how important this is. He asked how was I doing. I said OK, it hasnt effected me yet. He said right when he heard the news, he had to call me bc he knows how much I love MJ. I get him off the phone quick bc I didnt really wanna talk about it. so when I got off, I went to Kroger bc I didnt wanna go home and watch tv and see all the coverage.. My nigga Derrick called me, and told me that I needed to do a tribute mix ASAP.. I know I did. I told him to record me some vocals so I can personalize it and make it current with the news. He did and i thank him for that.
I went home and turned on CNN and they were transpoting his body by helicopter.. I was salty.. they kept speakin of him in past tense.. I hated hearing that. The thing that hit me was when they showed the bag he was in.. andthey carried him from the the helicopter to the van.... OUCH!!! they hurt me. So I download all the songs I needed.. I didnt have enough space on my comp but this was more important than any GUCCI MANE song I had or whatever.. So I deleted and lot of BS (3 Gucci Mixtapes, Beyonces cd, Gorilla Zoe, Asher Roth, etc) that I either wont ever listen to, or could easily download if I needed it again. So I listened and let the music inspire me to do what I could to show my appreciation. That was my night..

All day the next day.. we played the music at work.. all day we heard memories of Micheal.

It really hit me tonight when I was watching the BET awards and they brought out Janet.. aww man.. that hurt to see her pain.. I thought of my sister instantly.. then they showed the picture of them two in the background.. man.. that hurt me.. i actually dropped a coupla of tears off that one..

I just had to get all of this out.. thanks for listening.. well reading...

I need me a good RIP MJ shirt.. ASAP... when u see one.. let me know..

Can I speak about Her real quick?

So ive said my lil subliminals about how special this person is to me.. and how we have gotten closer and she has been my rock and positive light.. she has been my sunshine and she has made me laugh everyday we speak.. Its weird to find someone that I have connected with on many levels... We just be laughin our asses off tho... I hope yall find yall someone like I have.. Our friendship has grown so deep.. we be having too much fun... we see the same things and laugh.. we be at the clubs laughin at people.. we just have good times together.. the best of times.. we miss each other all the time bc we in different cities.. Dayton holds my heart... we have made the craziest connections... im just happy to be happy.. and she has really helped me get there and to stay there.. I pray that yall find someone HALF as down for yall as she is for me.. ok ok ok.. I aint gonna say much more.. I just wanted to show my appreciation... i mean damn, everyone else has just about had shout out on my blog.. she was bound to get hers soon...

My Enemy...

SO theres not too many things that seem to be against me right??

If u know me, you know that I dont really have any haters, and I dont have beef with no one except for my old room mates.. So who could be my enemy?

Darrell is..

So lets open up shall we??

Im sittin home, on a wednesday, while all of my columbus friends are gettin ready to go out to Whaddup Wednesday... which is what we do.. so why am I not going??

Well.. my minds has been going crazy lately.. and its bothering me.. Since my last blog, I havent really gotten over things in my head.. From the outside lookin in, Im very nonchanlant and carefree.. but in my head.. i OVER analyze things.. more about myself then others.. and thats really deep if u know how much I analyze others.. So since my weak ass debut kinda messed me up in the head.. im been wondering.. "Is this the life I wanna live?".. I love music.. I would love to get paid for it, but I really am not lookin for the fame forreal.. I would like to be known a lil more.. but I dont want my life to change.. and even moreso, I dont want the people around me to change.. THATS the BIG thing..

As much as people would think that they will be the same.. i know they wont if i hit a certain level of popularity. People expect more.. and sometimes too much.. For example.. say that I get more famous and get to DJ a concert.. do I really want my phone blown up all day and night about free tickets, VIPs, and Skip-the-lines? HEll NAH.. but thats what people do... I dont want any false friendships due to where someone might think they could go off knowing me.. I see the groupies from afar.. i just wanna keep them bitches away.. sorry for the B-word..

The other big thing that I always hate to admit or recognize that holds me back is FEAR.. my fear of failing, wasting money or just not being as good as i expect is what holds me back.. I really let thatpump the brakes on my progress and I cant let that happen no more... I need to do this.. I cant let this shit hold me back.. Im in competition.. I compete with a lot of people that dont even know me.. shit.. i gotta compete with the gurl I like bc I aint even her favorite DJ.. so I got some moving to do... typin all of this has helped me mentally.. i just gotta get that money right... I be worried about having a late start bc of my age and me not really havin the money for everything like all the other DJ's around me do.. but I gotta get to getting it forreal.. I need to make myself proud and to make u all proud..


I was bout to talk more about this shit.. but fuck it.. I aint bout to give my fear anymore energy to live in me and in my heart.. im praying that I get passed all of this.. pray with me....

MY Day... Blah...

Well right now its 3:05 am on May 30th.. but ima talk about my whole day of May 29th.. ughh..


First of all.. im sorry to my 8 followers on here that I havent been blogging.. see heres the reason.. I started this blog bc I didnt have no one to talk to about none of my problems, thoughts or issues.. well lately.. someone has actually been there for me to talk to.. so I usually get my venting out with her.. or she usually takes my mind off things... but since she is dead sleep.. I gotta vent on here..

So this morning.. I had to wake up early for traffic court.. I had to be there at 9.. got there about 9:15 bc I can never find a parking spot.. but i got there and it was like 75 people in one court room... so it was at capacity.. im like "Damn... i bet the cops made their quota".. so i sign in and sit outside bc the court is first come, first serve.. and apparently i had a got 70 people ahead of me.. So i knew i was in there for a minute.. SALTY.. im tired than a bitch.. and i got sit down here by myself with all these weirdos and burger wearers... So to waste time, im goin thru me and Britt old text bc that always makes me smile.. I love readin old text messages from people.. its like my journals.. weird? so what?


So i see a few people leavin so I find me a seat.. my name was called quicker than I thougth.. SO I spoke to the prosecutor.. told him that I had a valid license and my insurance was up to date.. blah blah blah.. I told him a few lies (which I hate that I did bc I NEVERRRRR lie), but I had to.. i needed my L's back.. so he told me that he would drop my charges if I paid courts cost.. COOL.. i agreed.. I waited a few momnets.. got my sheet and paid.. then I banged out..

I texted Roni to see how she was doin... she invited me to lunch.. I wanted to go.. but I was already late for work and I KNEW I was gonna get lost.. but she later told me that she would come see me at work so we could talk about later on..

SO Im walkin to the parking lot... and...... I cant find my truck.. I knew I parked on the 3rd level.. but the 3rd level wasnt lookin familiar.. so Im up and down, looking down the rows.. and NOTHING.. 15 mins later I found out that I was on the wrong side of the 3 level.. SALTYYYY..

So I leave.. get to talk to Britt.. she brighten up my morning.. made me forget about the earlier bullshit.. then I make it to work...

So at work on a friday.. u would expect the store to be jumpin.. NOT AT ALL today.. I hate workin when its slow bc Im used to bein in the face pace stores... and I will get bored REAL easily...So all day.. a nigga dumb bored.. until my District manager came in.. its allllways some pressure on me when he come it.. it aint like I got much help in my store.. my assistant acts JUST like IT.. dumb as hell.. It was a pretty quick visit.. so when he left.. I banged out to get a haircut from O Sharp.. I got there speak to my homey.. he told me about a gig later that night he wanted me to help with.. so i was on that... things goin cool so far..

I get to work.. still nothin jumpin.. dumb boring.. I got to see Roni for a hot second.. and that was about it..

So my schedule for today was to go to court.. work for a coulpa hours, then DJ at the block party down on 18th.. and then head to the manhattan..

SO the info on the block party was that they didnt have no DJ equiptment.. so im all day tryna find someone to bring all their equipment on DUMB short notice.. I found someone but they came dummmbbb late..

I left work a little before 8 to go change and get my mind and music together... I shoot down to the block party and its a nice crowd... all different types of people... My people from the city were there, GTC.. its was good seein Mike and Germoane up here tryna grind it out.. (no homo on the grind tho)

We are waitin and waitin and waitin for the DJ.. Im gettimg more and more frustrated..So after a hour of just standin around..it was time for me to go pick up O Sharp for the later gig... so that was a BIGGGG waste of time.. so i bang out.. mad frustrated at the lack of action goin on...

SO I meet with O.. help him get all his stuff together for the show and we bang out.. The manhattan and far.. too far to be goin and drinkin.. that a looooong drive home to be tipsy... So we get there and set up.. PROBLEM.. the mixer they had was compatible to his equipment... like i told u earler.. its dumb far from the east side.. So i had to go back on my own and go get the mixer.. SALLLTYYY SO I text Roni and jesse and see where they at so i can just follow them up there.. but they opt to just go.. so i said fuck it.. i should be cool..(a foreshadow statement..)

So i get it, then go to the gas station to get something to drink.. a nigga was thirsty... so i drive off.. hit the highway..and everything looks familiar.. until i get to 71N... SO im driving.. and i pass Polaris... FUCKKKK!!.. I forgot that once u pass Polaris there is NOOOO exits for miles... so im ridin this highway for 25 miles outside of columbus.. im in DELWARE, OH (google it) MAD TO FUCKKK

SO about 35 mins later I made my way to the party.. 1st gurl I see if Jackie.. then when i walked in.. i saw the pretty plaid ladies.. (Jazmene, Jesse and Roni) they came to support a nigga.. even tho I finally got there at 12.. I was pissed tho.. I was gettin text messages the whole time while being lost from DJ GIOVANNY (the person who was bring the equipment for the block party) talking bout he cant find the people over the block party and how he felt like he was gettin played.. and some other bullshit.. I was already mad about bein lost.. then I had to be lost with this extra shit comin thru... SALTY...

So when I got in, I really didnt give the ladies the proper attention they shouldda got for their supoort.. I just dont like people seein me mad forreal. and i was mad forreal.. but i did appreciate them a lot..

So we get everything hooked up and ready.. and O plays a few songs... then looks at me and gives me the headphones for me to get on... Let me tell u all the wrong things about that..

1. I have never thrown a party using vinyl
2. I have never use Serato ( the laptop program that allows u to mix )
3. I havent did a party in like 2 years.
4. I didnt know what songs he had or how to find them
5. Ive never used a Mac...

Aww man, it was the worse.. i felt so lost and outta touch.. when the songs were playin.. i couldnt really hear what songs to mix in my head bc of bein so mad and nervous at the same time.. I couldnt find NO new stuff that the crowd was requesting.. and thats what sucked the most to me was that I had to play stuff from last year or stuff that i would never play for a crowd my age... my hands felt all heavy.. the mixing just wasnt how I wanted.. and the crowd was so hard to please.. I was hatin it.. It sucked to come out the gate like that... it was kinda hurtin my feeling that all these people that down know me had to hear me not at my best... I know next time i need more newer music and PRACTICE..

If u fail to plan.. then u plan to fail.. that was def the phrase of the day....

and i hope u all dont think Im making excuses bc im not...I hate excuses almost as much as i hate lies.. I just listed these as reasons why i didnt succeed this time.. but its all a process.. and ima be rockin this shit is no time.. just stick with me..

Hopefully tomorrow will be better...




ps.. excuse any grammatical mistakes... its now 4:10... and i was def dosing off while gettin all of this off my chest..

Feeling Some Type Of Way...

I gotta get some things out before I go to sleep.. is 3:08am.. and this is def a honesty hour for me..

Im no where near famous.. but i realize that I am a known nigga and i do put my self out there to be known for a few things.. its just me.. i dont need the attention, but its welcomed.. I like being the nigga to know.. Its funny but i speak about this to my columbus friends sometimes, but im more known than a lot of the people that I know that have been here their whole life.. I mean, I got more perks out on the town more than a lot of these domestics.. This isnt my town, but month by month its seems to be more and more..

With that being said.. I got people around me, and they are around most of the time when im out and about... and Ive had it brought ot my attention from people that are on the outside lookin in, and ive been told that some people are just my friend bc of "what" i am, not "who" i am.. Ive been told that some people hang on my coat tails just to rub elbows with people then been wanting to know.. like they groupie me, so they can groupie someone else.. So lately, Ive been evaluating friendships and associates.. and it does seem like that sometimes.. I hate to sound cocky or high on myself, but if u fuck with me, you can skip a few lines, get VIP access, get in free, see ur favorite artist, get a free shirt, .. just random shit that maybe an average dude cant do... what do i ask in return ever? nothing.. nothing at all. I cant remember the last time ive asked hardly anyone for anything.. All I really want is is time.. I would love to have some valueable time with some of my friends.. most of my friends i only see at the club.. there more to life than that.. When do I ever go to the mall or go to the movies or go out to eat or go to church or anything more personal with a lot of my friends?? When u see me in pix with my friends, you see us at the club or at the bar or at a show.. when do u see us at the crib chillin or play games or at gameworks or at skating, or taking a walk?? It dont happen.. It bothers me, but I never want to speak on it.. bc if i say something about it, then it starts happening, then it seems false, like ur doing it to pacify or appease me.. im cool.. i'd rather continue to do bad by myself.. when was the last time u came through and was like, "i wanna hear u mix" or.. "u want something to eat, I got u" or "that one movie comin out.. u wanna go?"...

I was in a room full of 1000 people tonight and felt LONELY as hell..

Why?

Because all of these experiences Im having, I dont have anyone close to share it with.. yeah my peoples was there.. but where is that "one" tho? Who am I gonna look back at this stuff with later on in life with? I mean, how many people u know got ot skip the line and get in free at a fuckin DRAKE concert?? ::points at self and Roniquia:: I mean.... like all of these things I always reserve it for someone else to come with me, but there not too many consistent people here for me.. Like, not knockin my present company for the Drake show, but why couldnt it have been a love interest that I had these priviledges for?? My close friends are gettin all the perks.. Since they are around I would say they deserve it.. no one has stepped up to me.. I feel as if I am overlooked and everyone is choosin these WEAK ass niggas over me.. If youre a female and ur reading this.. im talkin to you.. FLAT OUT.. any nigga u might be with might not be as good as me.. if u knew like I knew... u would understand.. Possibilities are damn near infinite when fuckin with me.. and if ur a ladie who has messed with me and u really aint see much from me.. look at urself... did u derserve better treatment?? did I feel as if u were down for me as much as I am for u?? No.. bc I still have never gotten the chance to do the things I would love to do in a relationship.. Is this my fault?? I will definitely say no..

As of Today.. I feel as if ONE person has stepped up to the plate.. She does show me how much she thinks about me, daily. She tells me how much or a great person I am. She loves me, she tells me. She puts in the effort to see me, and she likes me and is not ashamed to let a nigga know that all the time. She is my emotional outlet, she knows my potential and love Darrell. She dont care about me being known. She just cares that I care about her, and that I know that she loves me and is thinkin of me all the time. I mean, she says im the BEST and everythin I do is way better then she ever could have expected.

A man needs to know that he is important.. a man needs to feel like a man..

Just know that I will NEVER be okay with being second place on ANYTHING.. whether its my job or a relationship.. I am TOO GOOD of a man to allow myself to be second to anyone.. or to be someones "fallback".. I will not be that dude that u keep on deck while u do whatever.. im not him or will I ever allow myself to be him..

Know that...

Questions........

Im sayin.. like do u see how many periods i put behind that "s" tho????
man.. a nigga is mentally scratchin his brain.. and i gotta get a few questions out.. .a few rhetorical.. and some literal..

WHO:
Who decides whats wrong and whats right?
Who is to say that Im lying when I tell you what Im telling you?
Who has made u feel like this before?
Who ever meets the right person at the wrong time?
Who treated me like this before?
Who is sleepin on me while youre wide awake??
Who regrets what they didnt do with me?
Who will be next to regret?
Who will be next to be the lucky one?
Who is gonna show up a week too late?

What:
What brings change?
What if I ignored that text messages??
What if I said hello back then?
What if you didnt give me your number?
Whats next?
What if your dreams came true?
What if i was the faceless man of ur dreams?
What colors would the wedding be?
What will your friends think??
What will change when I get famous?
What do these haters think about what Im doing?
What are the people thinking when they see me out and about?
What is the big deal?

Where:
Where did all of this come from?
Where will all of this lead?
Where the hell can I get some Yeezy's from?
Where the hell did that question come from?
Where the hell is Anita Baker? I got big plans for her..
Where the fuck is Robin Leach when u need him?
Where is all the lights and cameras? We all know I need a show..
Where did u come from?
Where am I going?
Where are my True Friends? is ur hand raised?
Where are u when I feel alone?
Where have u been all these years?
Where do u find these people at??
Where do u get off asking me to marry you? gurl bye...

WHEN:
When will I not care/worry?
When will I let things go?
When will change come?
When will the obvious be noticed?
When will I not procastinate?
When will I believe in myself as much as u do?
When does the honeymoon end?
When is the next trip??
When will you get smarter?
When is enough, enough?
When will Deveroes be over for me?
When will I go back to school?
When will these gurls figure out that no real nigga wants a hot ass gurl?
When will they see that unflattering, drunk pix are usually remembered more than the regular ones??
When do I turn my swag off, so that I can hop out the bed and turn it on??
When will u ever not let me down?
When will I stop bullshittin?

WHY:
Why do I always fall for somebody elses gurl?
Why does somebodies gurlfriend always want me?
Why am I feeling this way?
Why is there no one around?
Why are all of these RnB songs connecting to me now?
Why are u reading?
Why have you stayed in touch for so long?
Why are we sooo cool?
Why does God continue to keep blessing me?
Why do I make some of the best kool aide in life??
Why did I see this nigga yesterday, he still owe me money like a mother F, and he wanna talk it out?
Why did she look so good on saturday tho??
Why have I never fallen in love?
Why do we love love when love seems to hate us?


How do u feel?

DURL SPEAKS..

I have a deep liking..

I almost labeled this as.. " I have a crush..." but that at me.. Im too old for that... but I have a DEEEPP LIKING for Jill Scott..


If this was my chick.. she would get some tired of me sayin.. "baby.. sing this for me..." I would be giving her random things to sing.. like a Donatos menu and be like.. "Baby... sing me the toppins they got on the mariachi beef pizza... and what drinks they got too.." Man I love her.. So I got a new love for Go-Go music now right? So i been on the hunt for the past week or so of all the go-go music i can find to engulf myself with it.. And i found a song that I already liked by her with Go-Go in it...



...so is she singing about me??